I won’t be writing an actual post tonight because I’ll be spending all day defending my Fat Head Open title against Jimmy Moore, who has been threatening to kick my tail for weeks now. He was a raw beginner when I got him addicted to the game in July, but he’s been playing regularly at home ever since. He bought a basket for his yard and plays from different street locations for different par lengths. He warned me he’s much improved. He’ll be here all week trying to prove it. So it’s on …
11:05 AM — This is going to be interesting, all right. First 18, we tied at +1. That’s what I get for trying a heroic shot through the trees from 150 feet out instead of laying up.
12:55 PM — Can’t shake this determined challenger. Second 18, tied at even par.
2:55 PM — The world has returned to the natural order of things. Third 18, Tom -4, Jimmy even par. (We’re still working on adjusting the par lengths for Christine, but think we have it figured out.)
4:45 PM — Fourth 18, Tom -2, Jimmy +2, Christine +2. I may have to fake a knee injury and stop for the week to remain undefeated. Summer’s gone and so is daylight savings time, so no 7:30 PM rounds this time.
DAY TWO – TUESDAY
10:35 AM — Jimmy fulfilled one of the greatest ambitions of his adult life, beating me by one stroke in the day’s first round: Jimmy even par, Tom +1, Christine “Nerves of Steel” Moore +1.
10:45 AM — Took a break to assist in an attempt to remove a large, growing and dangerous cancer. Let’s hope the operation is a success.
1:05 PM — Second round, Tom even par, Jimmy +1. Christine “Nerves of Steel” Moore sat out the round.
2:10 PM — The wheels came off Jimmy’s Beat-Naughton wagon on the back nine. Tom -2, Jimmy +9.
4:05 PM — Whew, just eeked out a win … Tom even par, Jimmy +1, Christine “Ice Queen” Moore lost her nerves of steel and came in at +6.
5:00 PM — Fifth round of the day. Tom – 3, Jimmy even par, Christine “Ice Queen” Moore +1, thanks to a double-bogey on the 18th hole. She was beating her hubby until that one.
That’s 90 holes for the day. According to Google maps, we walked just under six miles. Sounds like a good excuse to head to Famous Dave’s for ribs.
DAY THREE – WEDNESDAY
Up late to learn that the attempt at removing the large, growing, dangerous cancer failed. Someone who shall remain nameless woke up early and left the bedroom without shutting off her 6:00 AM alarm. Yanked out of deep sleep after 4 1/2 hours, so not physically up to snuff today.
10:00 AM –– Played in a drizzle. Slippery discs, cold hands. Tied at +1. Pretty good considering the conditions.
2:00 PM — Attempt at a nap failed, so still playing with 4 1/2 hours of sleep. Also still a bit wet and slippery outside. Tom +1, Jimmy +2, Christine “Ice Water Veins” Moore +8.
3:30 PM — So here’s an interesting question: what is it about sleep deprivation that causes a change in throwing motion? What felt like my normal swing resulted in shots that flew high and left. Jimmy even par, Tom + 4, Christine “Ice Queen” Moore +4.
That’s Jimmy’s victory face below:
5:05 PM — Still sleep deprived, still throwing high and left. Christine “I Am Woman Hear Me Roar” Moore +1, Jimmy +2, Tom +5.
DAY FOUR – THURSDAY
10:45 AM — I conducted an experiment to see if I could chop down trees by hitting them with a driver. For the record, it doesn’t work — even if you hit the same tree with two consecutive shots. Jimmy +1, Tom +3, Christine “Ice In Her Veins Melted Mysteriously” Moore +11.
12:50 PM — That’s more like it. Tom -4, Jimmy +2, Christine “Cool Water Veins” Moore +4.
2:30 PM — Tom – 2, Jimmy even par. That was captured on video, to follow later.
3:50 PM — Tom -4, Jimmy even par.
5:00 PM — Jimmy almost sunk a long putt that bounced off the basket and rolled into another zip code, costing him a double-bogey. Tom – 4, Jimmy +2.
That’s another five rounds, another six miles or so walked.
I gave myself a bit of an early birthday present Thursday night by joining three of my local friends to see The Fab Four at a club in downtown Nashville. If you’re a Beatles fan and you’ve never seen these guys, you owe it to yourself to find out if they’ll be in your area and catch a show. Their touring schedule is on their web site.
DAY FIVE – FRIDAY
Jimmy’s on fire. He’s beaten me in some rounds, but never broken par — in other words, he couldn’t win unless I shot over par. That’s now history.
10:45 — Jimmy even par, Tom +1, Christine +3
12:00 — Jimmy MINUS TWO!, Tom -1, Christine +2
2:00 PM — Ditto. Jimmy -2, Tom – 1, Christine +2
3:30 PM –– Both Moores have now shot under par. Jimmy -1, Tom +1, Christine -1.
4:45 PM — Yikes. My first day without a single victory. Christine “Ice Queen” Moore +1, Jimmy +2, Tom +2.
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