I expect to walk into the kitchen any day now and find Chareva walking aimlessly in a circle, staring off into space, reciting her own version of a scene from Forrest Gump: “Fried eggs, boiled eggs, poached eggs, deviled eggs, egg stew, egg salad …”
I had scrambled eggs for breakfast yesterday. I had deviled eggs for dinner. I don’t remember if I ate lunch or not, but if I did, it was some kind of egg dish.
Our chickens have become relentless producers, and yeah, we’re getting a little overloaded. A couple of my co-workers are happy, since I shared the largesse with them last week, but I’m starting to feel like we’re living in a reverse Easter egg hunt. Colored eggs keep finding us. Yesterday I opened the fridge to pull out the cream for my coffee, and when I went to put it back, another dozen eggs had appeared on the bottom shelf. Startled, I slammed the door shut, then opened it a crack and peeked in. Four more eggs had already appeared.
So naturally, Chareva and the girls decided we need more chickens.
Sara will soon be taking delivery of 25 chicks as part of a 4-H project. When I responded to this news by bulging my eyes to size of baseballs and losing hair from my head in small clumps, Chareva assured me that Sara is required to auction off some of the chickens at a 4-H event after they’re grown.
“How many does she have to auction off?”
“Oh, okay. That’s not so –”
“But Alana is feeling left out, so I told her she can get her own chicks.”
Alana’s chicks have already arrived and are living under a heat lamp in the basement.
Chareva’s solution to what’s shaping up to be a massive egg overload is to open a roadside egg stand. So she spent part of this weekend doing construction.
The architect/construction foreperson assures me this is just the skeleton of what will soon be a fine roadside egg stand. She built it to fit inside a wagon that we inherited with the property. The tires are flat, so it’s not much of a wagon at this point, but the plan is to get new tires and then roll the egg stand to the road after construction is completed.
Five new chicks already, 25 more on the way … yeesh. Let’s get that egg stand done. We need to start selling.
On the bright side, I’m pretty sure the rooster population will soon be reduced by one. The big, obnoxious rooster I refer to as the Rapper Rooster flew at Chareva yesterday and tried to spur her in the chest. She responded by chasing him around the chicken yard for the next five minutes and basically kicking the @#$% out of him. He didn’t want to be anywhere near her after that, but he seems to have a short memory for these things.
I originally agreed with Sara’s assessment that we should keep him because he’d protect the flock and make lots of baby chickens. But now that the girls are afraid to go collect eggs because of him, we’ve all re-evaluated his usefulness. The consensus is that he’ll be chicken stew soon.
And I suspect Chareva might even enjoy wringing his neck.
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