41 thoughts on “Chicken Preparation”

  1. Craig R

    That is awesomely funny! However, I too much of a germaphobe to let raw chicken touch my remote control, so I could never copy this. Really clever and silly though.

      1. Craig R

        I’m agree that modern humans live in an environment so sterile that it is a detriment more than a benefit sometimes. However, salmonella and the like are not something I would toy with, especially concerning what appears to be a factory farmed chicken rather than a fresh one you killed a cooked within a short period of time.

        Also note the caveats given in the link cited: 20% of the small children/infants die. Not a healthy number by a long shot, and no real numbers are given to total mortality as a result of pathogens. Not so promising.

        As a society, we should not be so afraid of germs that we become paranoid and hurt ourselves and our children. We should still be cautious about the more severe germs that are out there, and even non-domesticated societies would do well to learn from us. Fewer dead and diseased kids that way.

        1. Elenor

          {sigh} The post-antibiotic era is fast (VERY fast) approaching… And then salmonella and a variety of other today-not-so-scary ‘bugs’ will be pretty uniformly fatal.

      2. Kate

        After reading this, I’m going to stop worrying about getting sick from NOT washing the produce out of the garden before eating it. Washed it sporadically this last summer and never got sick.

  2. Craig R

    That is awesomely funny! However, I too much of a germaphobe to let raw chicken touch my remote control, so I could never copy this. Really clever and silly though.

      1. Craig R

        I’m agree that modern humans live in an environment so sterile that it is a detriment more than a benefit sometimes. However, salmonella and the like are not something I would toy with, especially concerning what appears to be a factory farmed chicken rather than a fresh one you killed a cooked within a short period of time.

        Also note the caveats given in the link cited: 20% of the small children/infants die. Not a healthy number by a long shot, and no real numbers are given to total mortality as a result of pathogens. Not so promising.

        As a society, we should not be so afraid of germs that we become paranoid and hurt ourselves and our children. We should still be cautious about the more severe germs that are out there, and even non-domesticated societies would do well to learn from us. Fewer dead and diseased kids that way.

        1. Elenor

          {sigh} The post-antibiotic era is fast (VERY fast) approaching… And then salmonella and a variety of other today-not-so-scary ‘bugs’ will be pretty uniformly fatal.

      2. Kate

        After reading this, I’m going to stop worrying about getting sick from NOT washing the produce out of the garden before eating it. Washed it sporadically this last summer and never got sick.

  7. Kristin

    This came across my FB feed a day or so before Thanksgiving and I just howled…and reposted. A couple of my commenters mentioned it was kind of disturbing. Well yes, that is what makes it so funny.

  9. Forever Vegan

    That’s about as funny as your stand up routine (hint, it’s not). I hope you and your smelly wife have a nice little bit of karma coming back to you after you murdered two of nature’s creatures. Possibly some chocolate Hershey squirts from not preparing the chicken correctly? You and all of your other redneck brethren should be ashamed.

    -a Vegan Forever

    P.s. Meat eaters will die off soon

    Yeah, if only my act appealed to oh-so-serious vegans, perhaps I would have been good enough to work the clubs and cruise ships for several years.

    The farmers who provide you with soybean burgers murder more of nature’s creatures in a growing season than I’ll murder in 100 lifetimes. Unlike you, I’m not deluded about where my food comes from.

    Hate to disappoint you, but if eating a freshly-killed chicken were going to make me sick, I would have known at least two days ago.

    By the way, thanks for that “smelly wife” comment. We’ve been singing it to the tune of “Smelly Cat” from “Friends.”

    Hey, didn’t you tell me to piss off? That’s generally a closing remark.

    1. Bill C.

      Don’t hate the vegan. He/she is obviously suffering from a lack of healthy fat in her brain box. I’d be angry and obnoxious too if I couldn’t eat real bacon. (turkey bacon is NOT bacon. It is bacon flavored cardboard.)

      We were just talking about that “vegan rage” phenomenon a few days ago. I was telling Chareva about a time during my vegetarian days when I was working on music for a corporate film with another musician — also a vegetarian at the time. (And also no longer a vegetarian.) We got into a shouting match over which snare-drum sound to use and I thought we were going to come to blows. Trust me, that wouldn’t happen today.

    2. Craig Rich

      I love the comment “meat eaters will die off soon” because it shows complete cognitive dissonance. Even the most skeptical historian/anthropologist admits meat was a common source of nutrition for our ancestors. The fact that vegetarians/vegans are the anomaly of history doesn’t phase militant vegans. If meat eaters were going to die out anytime soon, the human race would’ve died out long ago. This information contradicts his/her beliefs, so it can’t be true.

      Seriously, is this real? There are crazy people, and probably a bigger proportion among vegans thanks to their lack of essential nutrients provided by animal products. However, this seems too blatant and trollish.

      Well, like I mentioned before, it’s difficult to tell the difference between a vegan wacko and a wacky person pretending to be a vegan for fun.

    3. Paul B.

      I love this troll! Especially the selectiveness of the troll. After all, Chickens kill and eat animals, yet the vegan troll doesn’t blather on about the evilness of chickens who “murder” other creatures. That, of course, in addition to the response you already laid out.

      I hope this vegan doesn’t drive or use public transportation… might have a bug or two splat against the windshield.

      I love this troll too. Vegan wackos are endlessly entertaining.

      1. Daci

        I’ve had more than one of them try to guilt trip me into not eating meat..It did not work. Looks like this troll has given up on guilt tripping and is going into threat mode:”Your all goana’ dieeeee!”
        I know where his food comes from too and lots of insects,mice,rats,ground nesting birds and bunnies get killed so he can do his vegan thing.
        Chicken eating a mouse:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iubf1oJdQQQ

        Yup, when you see labels on cartons of eggs bragging about “all vegetarian feed,” that just means the chickens aren’t eating their natural diet.

        1. Jill

          Vegans are going to die too.

          Newsflash – we’re ALL going to die!!

          Some of us will live better-nourished than others though!;)

    4. Cyborcat

      This reminds me of something you posted awhile back, Tom, and I’ve been repeating it ever since:

      Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: That’s not funny, you &$&*$%* MURDERER!!!

    5. emi11n

      I love the smelly cat song. I work with some pretty smelly cats and I sing them that song sometimes. In fact, I was reciting it this morning for my supervisor who didn’t know the words ( we happened to be unloading a stinky cat at the time, not his fault as he’d been in a shipping crate for the past 24 hours– the cat, not my supervisor 🙂
      This vegetrollian is really a horribly cruel person. Apparently he thinks you should have left those birds to linger for a day or two while they died naturally in terrible suffering from their injuries, instead of ending their pain quickly with a knife. Nice guy.

      The vegetrollian no doubt thinks the coop is a slave house and we should let the chickens go free. That way they can be torn apart by coyotes, like our free-range guinea fowl.

  12. Kristin

    This came across my FB feed a day or so before Thanksgiving and I just howled…and reposted. A couple of my commenters mentioned it was kind of disturbing. Well yes, that is what makes it so funny.

  15. Forever Vegan

    That’s about as funny as your stand up routine (hint, it’s not). I hope you and your smelly wife have a nice little bit of karma coming back to you after you murdered two of nature’s creatures. Possibly some chocolate Hershey squirts from not preparing the chicken correctly? You and all of your other redneck brethren should be ashamed.

    -a Vegan Forever

    P.s. Meat eaters will die off soon

    Yeah, if only my act appealed to oh-so-serious vegans, perhaps I would have been good enough to work the clubs and cruise ships for several years.

    The farmers who provide you with soybean burgers murder more of nature’s creatures in a growing season than I’ll murder in 100 lifetimes. Unlike you, I’m not deluded about where my food comes from.

    Hate to disappoint you, but if eating a freshly-killed chicken were going to make me sick, I would have known at least two days ago.

    By the way, thanks for that “smelly wife” comment. We’ve been singing it to the tune of “Smelly Cat” from “Friends.”

    Hey, didn’t you tell me to piss off? That’s generally a closing remark.

    1. Bill C.

      Don’t hate the vegan. He/she is obviously suffering from a lack of healthy fat in her brain box. I’d be angry and obnoxious too if I couldn’t eat real bacon. (turkey bacon is NOT bacon. It is bacon flavored cardboard.)

      We were just talking about that “vegan rage” phenomenon a few days ago. I was telling Chareva about a time during my vegetarian days when I was working on music for a corporate film with another musician — also a vegetarian at the time. (And also no longer a vegetarian.) We got into a shouting match over which snare-drum sound to use and I thought we were going to come to blows. Trust me, that wouldn’t happen today.

    2. Craig Rich

      I love the comment “meat eaters will die off soon” because it shows complete cognitive dissonance. Even the most skeptical historian/anthropologist admits meat was a common source of nutrition for our ancestors. The fact that vegetarians/vegans are the anomaly of history doesn’t phase militant vegans. If meat eaters were going to die out anytime soon, the human race would’ve died out long ago. This information contradicts his/her beliefs, so it can’t be true.

      Seriously, is this real? There are crazy people, and probably a bigger proportion among vegans thanks to their lack of essential nutrients provided by animal products. However, this seems too blatant and trollish.

      Well, like I mentioned before, it’s difficult to tell the difference between a vegan wacko and a wacky person pretending to be a vegan for fun.

    3. Paul B.

      I love this troll! Especially the selectiveness of the troll. After all, Chickens kill and eat animals, yet the vegan troll doesn’t blather on about the evilness of chickens who “murder” other creatures. That, of course, in addition to the response you already laid out.

      I hope this vegan doesn’t drive or use public transportation… might have a bug or two splat against the windshield.

      I love this troll too. Vegan wackos are endlessly entertaining.

      1. Daci

        I’ve had more than one of them try to guilt trip me into not eating meat..It did not work. Looks like this troll has given up on guilt tripping and is going into threat mode:”Your all goana’ dieeeee!”
        I know where his food comes from too and lots of insects,mice,rats,ground nesting birds and bunnies get killed so he can do his vegan thing.
        Chicken eating a mouse:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iubf1oJdQQQ

        Yup, when you see labels on cartons of eggs bragging about “all vegetarian feed,” that just means the chickens aren’t eating their natural diet.

        1. Jill

          Vegans are going to die too.

          Newsflash – we’re ALL going to die!!

          Some of us will live better-nourished than others though!;)

    4. Cyborcat

      This reminds me of something you posted awhile back, Tom, and I’ve been repeating it ever since:

      Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: That’s not funny, you &$&*$%* MURDERER!!!

    5. emi11n

      I love the smelly cat song. I work with some pretty smelly cats and I sing them that song sometimes. In fact, I was reciting it this morning for my supervisor who didn’t know the words ( we happened to be unloading a stinky cat at the time, not his fault as he’d been in a shipping crate for the past 24 hours– the cat, not my supervisor 🙂
      This vegetrollian is really a horribly cruel person. Apparently he thinks you should have left those birds to linger for a day or two while they died naturally in terrible suffering from their injuries, instead of ending their pain quickly with a knife. Nice guy.

      The vegetrollian no doubt thinks the coop is a slave house and we should let the chickens go free. That way they can be torn apart by coyotes, like our free-range guinea fowl.

    1. Dorsey

      Forget concerns over germs or misplaced vegan worries, what the heck is that bird doing drinking Coors Light?!…any self respecting carb lowering bird has already discovered Bud Platinum or Frio Light. …..

      ……..Well, perhaps everyone has a different perspective on life……

      Thank you, Tom, for all you have done and are doing to promote science/truth.

      Respectfully sent from some carb lowering, meat eating, adult libation drinking Texans.
      Dorsey.

      You sound like my kind of people.

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