I’m Now A Devout Fatatarian

      210 Comments on I’m Now A Devout Fatatarian

I’m considering starting a new religion call Fatatarianism. If I do, you’re all invited to join. I promise I won’t collect any dues, with the possible exception of a cover charge for our annual pilgrimage to a farm, where I’ll wave my hand over a pig that will be later be transubstantiated into a delicious meal.

I realize joining another religion could be problematic for those of you who are already religious. I apologize for the inconvenience, but my only other options were to form a new ethnic group called Fatians or an entirely new culture called … actually, I don’t know what I’d call the culture. Maybe Fatian would work for that too.

Anyway, given that the thousands of members of the Fat Head Facebook group come in all shapes and colors, it’s highly unlikely we could pass ourselves off as an ethic group. “You Fatians all look alike to me” would just never fly … although given enough time, I’m sure people would start writing Fatian jokes.

How do you drown a Fatian submarine crew?  Tap on the hatch with a sausage.

I kind of like the idea of starting a culture, but I have no idea how to go about it. (A girlfriend once accused me starting a culture in my shower, but she was referring to something that had sprouted in a corner of the stall.) I’m reasonably sure starting a separate culture would require developing a lot of original music, dances, clothing styles, myths, mating rituals and perhaps even a small crime syndicate. Oh, and at least one restaurant in New York, San Francisco and Chicago. We don’t have that kind of time.

So religion it is. If nothing else, there’s far less paperwork involved.

I should probably explain what’s motivating a secular guy like me to consider starting a religion. It’s all about ensuring that Chareva and I can still decide what to put in our girls’ lunchboxes if Tennessee is ever taken over nanny-statists.

You may recall the incident last year in which a school-lunch inspector took away a girl’s home-packed lunch. Here’s a quote from the newspaper article I linked in my post:

A preschooler at West Hoke Elementary School ate three chicken nuggets for lunch Jan. 30 because the school told her the lunch her mother packed was not nutritious.

The girl’s turkey and cheese sandwich, banana, potato chips, and apple juice did not meet U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines, according to the interpretation of the person who was inspecting all lunch boxes in the More at Four classroom that day.

The Division of Child Development and Early Education at the Department of Health and Human Services requires all lunches served in pre-kindergarten programs – including in-home day care centers – to meet USDA guidelines. That means lunches must consist of one serving of meat, one serving of milk, one serving of grain, and two servings of fruit or vegetables, even if the lunches are brought from home. When home-packed lunches do not include all of the required items, child care providers must supplement them with the missing ones.

This wasn’t an isolated incident. A reader I’ve met in person told me about a similar incident involving his niece, and a school district in Chicago has already banned lunches brought from home.

And now just to prove that American officials aren’t uniquely stupid, some politicians across the pond are proposing the same stupidity. Here are some quotes from an article in the U.K. Guardian:

Packed lunches could be banned and pupils barred from leaving school during breaks to buy junk food under a government plan to increase the take-up of school meals, which is to be announced on Friday.

The plan, drawn up by John Vincent and Henry Dimbleby, the founders of the food company Leon, aims to tackle the poor public image of school meals.

Okay, somebody in the U.K. please tell me: are Vincent and Dimbleby proposing rules that would require more kids to eat the foods produced by their company? I’m not familiar with Leon.

And why do stupid government proposals always seem to spread around the globe?  Is there an annual convention where officials from around the world all get together at a resort, drink cocktails with umbrellas, get taxpayer-funded massages and exchange stupid ideas?

Anyway …

The report, which suggests a link between nutrition and academic performance, highlights that parents currently spend almost £1bn on packed lunches but only 1% of them meet nutritional standards. In contrast, scientific studies show most school meals are a healthier option.

Those “scientific” studies are of course based on the unscientific assumption that government nutrition guidelines are correct.

The report suggests a range of measures for headteachers to increase take-up of school meals. They include banning unhealthy packed lunches full of sugary drinks, crisps and sweets, or even a total ban on all packed lunches.

So what does all this have to do with me starting a religion? I’m getting to that. First, let’s look at part of a follow-up story to the incident in North Carolina:

After a national outcry over lunch inspections at a pre-K program in Hoke County, the North Carolina Childcare Commission got the message. The commission reinstated a rule allowing homemade lunches to be exempt from nutrition guidelines.

The new rule means if parents pack a lunch for their child, the preferences of the parents would trump the established nutrition guidelines.

The change can be credited to a story that triggered national attention.

Yes, it’s good that the government food fascists backed off, but before we all do a victory dance, let’s stop and consider why they backed off: they were embarrassed by the national outcry. It didn’t suddenly occur to them that they’re supposed to be public servants, not the public’s masters. Take away the national attention and the embarrassment, and they would have happily continued telling parents what they can put in their own children’s lunchboxes.

How do I know that? Because an earlier article about the same commission’s proceedings (before the national attention and embarrassment) tells us so:

The staff of the Division of Child Development and Early Education drew up some nutrition rules in May 2011 for the NC Child Care Commission to consider. The commission discussed the proposed rules at a September 27, 2011 meeting. The minutes of that meeting show the commission members talked about allowing parents to make a “personal preference” for the food their children eat at school, including what they bring from home. According to the minutes, the commission’s attorney, Alexi Gruber from the Department of Justice, advised the members such preferences should supersede any nutrition rule.

The panel went against that advice, however, and deleted the word “personal” from the recommendation. The only exception left was for ethnic, religious or cultural reasons. The new rule cited a vegetarian diet as an example of the exception.

See if you can spot the glaring contradiction in the commission’s (ahem) thinking. Go ahead, I’ll wait …

Got it? Yup … the commission chose not to allow exceptions based on a parent’s “personal” preferences, but they were willing to make an exception for a vegetarian diet. Excuse me?  Weren’t the exceptions supposed to be for ethnic, religious or cultural reasons?

Yes, some religions specify a vegetarian diet, but vegetarianism itself is not a religion. It’s a personal preference. But since many vegetarians cite moral reasons for their personal preference, the goofballs on the commission were willing to treat vegetarianism like a religion and offer vegetarians an exemption from their rules.

That’s why I’m considering starting the Fatatarian religion. You can argue the health benefits of meat vs. wheat with government officials until you’re blue in the face, and they won’t budge. But play the religion card, and they fold. So I figure to ensure that our daughters (and millions of other kids) are allowed to bring Fat Head lunches from home in the future, we need to make this a religious-freedom issue. Imagine how much fun it would be.

“Yes, Mr. Naughton, we called you in today because your daughter’s lunch didn’t include any grain products and was very high in saturated fat. I’m afraid that violates USDA rules.”

“Well, sorry, but you’ll have to make an exception. We’re strict Fatatarians.”

“Which means …?”

“It means our religion requires us to eat a diet high in fat.”

“So that you can go to heaven?”

“No, so that we can enjoy our time on earth.”

“Uh, but … well, there’s also the issue of you not including any grains in their –”

“No can do. Fatatarins consider eating wheat immoral.”

“How can eating wheat be immoral? You’re not killing anything.”

“Have you taken a peek at the diabetes rates lately?”

“Yes, but I still don’t see how eating wheat is a moral issue.”

“Simple. When kids end up with cavities and diabetes and asthma and food allergies and behavioral problems and beer bellies just so the USDA officials currently on sabbatical from their real jobs at Monsanto can force their parents to buy Monsanto’s grains for their kids’ lunches, that’s immoral.”

“But –”

“And I’m quoting directly from the Book of Dietoronomy, verse twenty-seven.”

“But—”

“Now, I don’t want to have to turn this into a First Amendment issue, but if you’re going to insist I violate my religion, I’ll have to call my law—”

“No, no, that won’t be necessary. I’m sure we can work out an exception.”

“Great. And by the way, on the third Friday of every month, my girls are required to walk around all day with a live chicken. I’ll expect you to accommodate them.”


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210 thoughts on “I’m Now A Devout Fatatarian

  1. Jennifer Snow

    And people wonder why homeschooling is growing by leaps and bounds. I wonder if the death-blow for public schooling might just come about because enough people with kids decide to home-school because one of the two parents can’t get a good enough job to pay for daycare and a second car so they decide to accept a downgrade in living conditions and teach their own kids.

    I think the quality of public education — or lack thereof — in some areas is a big factor too.

    1. Peggy Holloway

      My daughter is finishing a Masters degree in teaching and will begin her teaching career next spring. However, she has adamantly stated to me that if she has children, she intends to homeschool them because she is very concerned that the schools will force her children to eat low-fat, high-carb food. She worked briefly in a pre-school and was appalled at the food served and that regulations required the kids to be served that carbage.

      If our local school district ever dictates what lunches the girls can bring from home, we’ll be joining the ranks of home-schoolers — but only after a very loud fight, and only if we lose that fight.

  2. tess

    walk around with a live chicken…. 😀 from what I’ve seen of your girls on the Kids’ Club, I think they’d be tickled by that.

    Sara plays with our chickens now and then anyway, so she’d be quite comfy with the idea.

  3. Lori

    It looks like what you want is a religious organization:

    http://nonprofit.about.com/od/faqsthebasics/a/The-Difference-Between-A-Church-And-A-Religious-Organization.htm

    I’m sure the overwhelming majority of vegetarians in the US go to a Buddhist or Hindu temple or a Seventh-Day Adventist church about as often as they go to McDonald’s. Schools should stay out of students’ food choices for health and safety reasons. Otherwise, someday, some kid is going to end up in the hospital from a government busybody feeding him something he can’t have.

  4. Beowulf

    When I worked for the public school I remember seeing kids with a slice of pizza, a carton of chocolate milk, and a fruit cup on their plate. This was considered a healthy, balanced lunch.

    On a related note, I’m about fifty pages into Mistakes Were Made, but Not By Me. Fascinating. Thank you for the recommendation. Perhaps it should be required reading for you new religious group.

    I think it should be required reading for everyone.

    1. Firebird

      We use to eat in the cafeteria, then slip off the school grounds to the pizzeria around the block because the lunches we were being served just weren’t enough. We were still hungry, which is what usually happens to 12 year old boys.

      It’s still happening.

    2. Jill

      I”m reading this book v-e-r-y slowly, and am also enjoying it.
      Unfortunately there are mistakes and some self-righteous editorialising in the intro to the book (Can’t say about the rest cos haven’t finished it.)
      THis I find simultaneously a pity and highly ironic. It won’t stop me learning from it though!!

  5. Jana

    I hate to burst your bubble, but the government will likely use the excuse card of having an established known religion be a valid religious clause. Try watching the movie Sergent York and you’ll see what I mean. Alvin York, Medal of Honor winner in WWI, was a religious conscientious objector. Unfortunately, the church he belonged to was not recognized by the Federal government. He had to go into combat anyways. His story is amazing but the government policy is telling. I think they would use it again in cases like your talking about.

    No doubt. But we’ll still enjoy our festivals.

  6. Jill

    Great piece Tom.
    Parents need to understand – if you want “free” education you’re subjecting your kids to Marxist UN-based propaganda and dictators – and “scientific” idiocy like climate change and this food nonsense.

    Meanwhile back at the ranch or rather Down Under, the CEO of Diabetes Australia says that it is a myth that sugar causes diabetes. !!!

    Sure, it’s getting fat that causes diabetes. At least that’s what our ADA says.

    1. Jennifer Snow

      Well, there is climate change–but there always has been and probably always will be until the Sun is a cinder. Should we give up industrial civilization and return to the Stone Age in an effort to stop it? No.

      Everything occurs in cycles.

    2. Jill

      Just a follow-up I got so p***** off at that CEO’s comment that I rang up the DA and spoke to a lady there – I won’t say in which position if you don’t mind, but she is one of many responsible for material that goes out to the public.

      After much talking from about why this is incorrect etc, I mentioned Gary Taubes and Willima Wheat Belly Davis ( and that he is an ex-diabetic.) Here’s the kicker – they know all about these two and the info they have revealed and STILL recommend low-fat and cereals, bread, pasta etc on their website to stop diabetes!!
      (as well as veges, legumes and lean meats etc).

      I told her that a CEO/association that puts out incorrect info about sugar cannot be taken seriously and is also setting them up for a lawsuit in the future.

      I compared that to the doctors giving their patients thalidomide decades ago. I just hope what I said got through, because I for one am rapidly losing tolerance for this garbage.
      Family members are suffering from this too but they won’t go all the way trying to go off some medication, despite their having changed some of their food habits, which is encouraging.

  7. Sam Horne

    First, thank you for this wonderful blog I have spent the last few months reading every entry and comment!! And I loved the film, you are a real gent giving your wife the best line.

    I live in the UK and my eldest son will start school in September. We just got the school lunch menu and it is mainly low grade refined and most importantly cheap carbs eg pasta with garlic bread, fish fingers with chips and beans, quorn as the meat option one day, and always a sugar and refined white flour pudding or cake.

    The cost is £450 a year for this carb fest – which would result in my son snoozing through the afternoon. The menu is accompanied by a chart showing how the meals exceed the required nutritional standard for carbs and are lower than the max fat and sat fat limits. Perfect

    The meals are not compulsory (yet) and the guidelines for packed lunches just state no nuts, fizzy drinks or sweets/chocolate. So far as I know there are no draconian searches.
    We just became fatatarians in the last year so it has been hard to swap over my son’s diet from cereal and pasta so your post on what your girls take for their lunch has been noted and we are trying to switch over to more paleo type stuff in preparation.

    Good luck. They’ll adjust.

    1. Walter Bushell

      What no club soda or seltzer?! Have to be better than sweetened chocolate milk, (unsweetened chocolate milk I have no beef with).

      Let them drink cream!

  8. Jill

    Interesting that Prof Merlin Thomas mentions the brain needs glucose and oxygen to operate, but does not mention it needs fat too. (Don’t know what else it needs but I have learned that!)

    Notice how these people often say that it’s too “simplistic” to say that sugar causes diabetes but apparently “calories in calories out” and “sedentary lifestyle” is NOT too “simplistic”.

  9. Jennifer Snow

    And people wonder why homeschooling is growing by leaps and bounds. I wonder if the death-blow for public schooling might just come about because enough people with kids decide to home-school because one of the two parents can’t get a good enough job to pay for daycare and a second car so they decide to accept a downgrade in living conditions and teach their own kids.

    I think the quality of public education — or lack thereof — in some areas is a big factor too.

    1. Peggy Holloway

      My daughter is finishing a Masters degree in teaching and will begin her teaching career next spring. However, she has adamantly stated to me that if she has children, she intends to homeschool them because she is very concerned that the schools will force her children to eat low-fat, high-carb food. She worked briefly in a pre-school and was appalled at the food served and that regulations required the kids to be served that carbage.

      If our local school district ever dictates what lunches the girls can bring from home, we’ll be joining the ranks of home-schoolers — but only after a very loud fight, and only if we lose that fight.

  10. tess

    walk around with a live chicken…. 😀 from what I’ve seen of your girls on the Kids’ Club, I think they’d be tickled by that.

    Sara plays with our chickens now and then anyway, so she’d be quite comfy with the idea.

  11. Carole AKA CarbSaneR

    Count me in for the religion!

    Do we have to wear a silly hat?

    I did think about being a pastafarian (touched by his noodly appendage), but the pasta thing was a big problem.

    The hat is optional except during the annual pilgrimage.

    1. kree

      I think pastafarianism would work. It is already a recognized religion, and you can say eating flour products offends our diety

      Are they the ones with all the cool Reggae music?

  12. Lori

    It looks like what you want is a religious organization:

    http://nonprofit.about.com/od/faqsthebasics/a/The-Difference-Between-A-Church-And-A-Religious-Organization.htm

    I’m sure the overwhelming majority of vegetarians in the US go to a Buddhist or Hindu temple or a Seventh-Day Adventist church about as often as they go to McDonald’s. Schools should stay out of students’ food choices for health and safety reasons. Otherwise, someday, some kid is going to end up in the hospital from a government busybody feeding him something he can’t have.

  13. Beowulf

    When I worked for the public school I remember seeing kids with a slice of pizza, a carton of chocolate milk, and a fruit cup on their plate. This was considered a healthy, balanced lunch.

    On a related note, I’m about fifty pages into Mistakes Were Made, but Not By Me. Fascinating. Thank you for the recommendation. Perhaps it should be required reading for you new religious group.

    I think it should be required reading for everyone.

    1. Firebird

      We use to eat in the cafeteria, then slip off the school grounds to the pizzeria around the block because the lunches we were being served just weren’t enough. We were still hungry, which is what usually happens to 12 year old boys.

      It’s still happening.

    2. Jill

      I”m reading this book v-e-r-y slowly, and am also enjoying it.
      Unfortunately there are mistakes and some self-righteous editorialising in the intro to the book (Can’t say about the rest cos haven’t finished it.)
      THis I find simultaneously a pity and highly ironic. It won’t stop me learning from it though!!

  14. Eric from belgium

    Here’s Leon website: http://www.leonrestaurants.co.uk

    Not to be mistaken for J Lyons & co, a leading UK food business which incidentally created the world’s first commercial electronic computer, which eventually spun off to become ICL, now Fujitsu.

    Anyway, according to the content of their site, they seem to promote locally sourced products, sustainable food sources, limiting the glycemic index etc…

    Where I beg to differ is on their views of saturated fats, and perhaps too much grain based products.

    The concept of improving school food in itself is not new, Jamie Oliver had a go at improving british school food a few years ago (and he also had a go at it in the US), and he is still actively doing that.

    The underlying cause behind this newspaper article is in fact Jamie Oliver complaining that some schools are allowed to wander off the recommendations, and provide processed / industrial meals to pupils, and make money through junk food machines. (here’s another interesting article about this controversy : http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2012/apr/22/jamie-oliver-academies-junk-food )

    It is true to say that school in UK food never been know to be the most gastronomic or health conscious, however the culinary culture was strongly influenced by food shortages in UK during WWII.

    IMHO, any attempt at improvements should be viewed as a positive intention, but I will always remain suspicious of any movement claiming to know ‘the truth’….

    As Max Planck said, “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.”

    I’m all for education. I’m against compulsion, including telling parents they can’t pack whatever they deem fit for their kids’ lunches.

  15. Galina L.

    I had a hope to declare myself a Paleo-cult member for practical reasons, even though I hardly read any paleo blog nowadays because they worship sweet potatoes now. Fatatarianism would be better description of my diet. I think my diet is good not only for my health , but also for the environment – my household hardly generates any garbage and we support with our $ a grass-fed meat and butter production.

    I’ve been steering away from the paleo label myself for the same reason. Nothing against sweet potatoes, mind you, but there’s a purist streak among some high priests of paleo that I find annoying.

    1. Kristin

      When people ask what my dietary direction is I use a short hand of Low Carb Paleo, sort of. If i’m going to expand I have to give a nod to WAP which usually requires some explanation since WAP doesn’t get as much press despite Sally Fallon’s efforts in Washingon (or perhaps because of.) I eat a little homemade wild sourdough heavily fermented from home ground spelt and I lacto-ferment anything that stands still long enough. And I drink raw ilk and cream. Not very Paleo.

      I think there are a lot of correct diets out there, pretty much one for each person. The only absolutes I see are low sugar, low grain, and approaching zero refined vegetable oils. When you have one diet for every person then labels are cumbersome and zelotic devotion to a particular ingredient just plain silly (even bacon).

      If most people would give up those three (sugar, grains, vegetable oils), they’d be far better off. Beyond that, the benefits are more incremental.

  16. Jason

    Sign me up Tom. Can’t wait for communion where we kneel and have a piece of pepperoni placed in our mouths.

    My mom used to bake communion bread for our local Catholic church. I’ll see if she’s available for pepperoni production.

    1. Kyth

      That would be perfect. Except I’d need an olive to go with it. For some weird reason (and this is the only time it happens) I crave olives whenever I eat pepperoni.

      Fatatarians allow you to bring your own side dishes to communion.

  17. Jana

    I hate to burst your bubble, but the government will likely use the excuse card of having an established known religion be a valid religious clause. Try watching the movie Sergent York and you’ll see what I mean. Alvin York, Medal of Honor winner in WWI, was a religious conscientious objector. Unfortunately, the church he belonged to was not recognized by the Federal government. He had to go into combat anyways. His story is amazing but the government policy is telling. I think they would use it again in cases like your talking about.

    No doubt. But we’ll still enjoy our festivals.

  18. Jill

    Great piece Tom.
    Parents need to understand – if you want “free” education you’re subjecting your kids to Marxist UN-based propaganda and dictators – and “scientific” idiocy like climate change and this food nonsense.

    Meanwhile back at the ranch or rather Down Under, the CEO of Diabetes Australia says that it is a myth that sugar causes diabetes. !!!

    Sure, it’s getting fat that causes diabetes. At least that’s what our ADA says.

    1. Jennifer Snow

      Well, there is climate change–but there always has been and probably always will be until the Sun is a cinder. Should we give up industrial civilization and return to the Stone Age in an effort to stop it? No.

      Everything occurs in cycles.

    2. Jill

      Just a follow-up I got so p***** off at that CEO’s comment that I rang up the DA and spoke to a lady there – I won’t say in which position if you don’t mind, but she is one of many responsible for material that goes out to the public.

      After much talking from about why this is incorrect etc, I mentioned Gary Taubes and Willima Wheat Belly Davis ( and that he is an ex-diabetic.) Here’s the kicker – they know all about these two and the info they have revealed and STILL recommend low-fat and cereals, bread, pasta etc on their website to stop diabetes!!
      (as well as veges, legumes and lean meats etc).

      I told her that a CEO/association that puts out incorrect info about sugar cannot be taken seriously and is also setting them up for a lawsuit in the future.

      I compared that to the doctors giving their patients thalidomide decades ago. I just hope what I said got through, because I for one am rapidly losing tolerance for this garbage.
      Family members are suffering from this too but they won’t go all the way trying to go off some medication, despite their having changed some of their food habits, which is encouraging.

  19. Sam Horne

    First, thank you for this wonderful blog I have spent the last few months reading every entry and comment!! And I loved the film, you are a real gent giving your wife the best line.

    I live in the UK and my eldest son will start school in September. We just got the school lunch menu and it is mainly low grade refined and most importantly cheap carbs eg pasta with garlic bread, fish fingers with chips and beans, quorn as the meat option one day, and always a sugar and refined white flour pudding or cake.

    The cost is £450 a year for this carb fest – which would result in my son snoozing through the afternoon. The menu is accompanied by a chart showing how the meals exceed the required nutritional standard for carbs and are lower than the max fat and sat fat limits. Perfect

    The meals are not compulsory (yet) and the guidelines for packed lunches just state no nuts, fizzy drinks or sweets/chocolate. So far as I know there are no draconian searches.
    We just became fatatarians in the last year so it has been hard to swap over my son’s diet from cereal and pasta so your post on what your girls take for their lunch has been noted and we are trying to switch over to more paleo type stuff in preparation.

    Good luck. They’ll adjust.

    1. Walter Bushell

      What no club soda or seltzer?! Have to be better than sweetened chocolate milk, (unsweetened chocolate milk I have no beef with).

      Let them drink cream!

  20. Jill

    Interesting that Prof Merlin Thomas mentions the brain needs glucose and oxygen to operate, but does not mention it needs fat too. (Don’t know what else it needs but I have learned that!)

    Notice how these people often say that it’s too “simplistic” to say that sugar causes diabetes but apparently “calories in calories out” and “sedentary lifestyle” is NOT too “simplistic”.

  21. tigerh

    Hi Tom, love the blog!
    Leon are a London based restaurant, decent food, a lot of it gluten free (naturally, not manufactured) lots of meat, salad and veg. They wouldn’t really benefit if the guidelines were implemented. I suppose they’re comparable in intent to Jamie Oliver, except they’re not famous! Too bad they’re only really in London, it’s a lot easier to get something decent to eat there than in most other places in shopping areas. I’m not affiliated, just enjoy the food.

    Okay, that’s a relief.

  22. Tomas Blesa

    I’ve just checked if domain fatatarian.com is available and it isn’t. 🙁 Sorry.

    Dang! You mean we have a splinter group already?

    1. Loofus

      How about the Lipidites of the Lipidist sect?

      Perhaps the Lipidites should be our version of the Pharisees.

  23. Walter Bushell

    Perhaps instead of a pig we could sacrifice a lamb or a goat, so that Jews and Muslims could participate? We do want to be as ecumenical as possible.

    I hadn’t thought of that. A goat it is.

    1. Mary D

      In that case, we’re going to have to buy a lot more curry powder and coconut milk.

  24. TJ Huber

    Not normally a joiner, but now I am a Fatatarian! Thank you! This needed to be said. Incidentally, as the head of our “church” you are welcome to our farm in Columbia anytime.

    I normally have a Groucho Marx attitude about churches: I wouldn’t join one that would have someone like me as a member. But Fatatarianism welcomes all.

  25. Bob

    “Blessed are the fat-adapted, for they shall inherit the earth.”

    You are, I believe, quoting verse 49 of the Book of Lipolyses.

  26. Carole AKA CarbSaneR

    Count me in for the religion!

    Do we have to wear a silly hat?

    I did think about being a pastafarian (touched by his noodly appendage), but the pasta thing was a big problem.

    The hat is optional except during the annual pilgrimage.

    1. kree

      I think pastafarianism would work. It is already a recognized religion, and you can say eating flour products offends our diety

      Are they the ones with all the cool Reggae music?

  27. Eric from belgium

    Here’s Leon website: http://www.leonrestaurants.co.uk

    Not to be mistaken for J Lyons & co, a leading UK food business which incidentally created the world’s first commercial electronic computer, which eventually spun off to become ICL, now Fujitsu.

    Anyway, according to the content of their site, they seem to promote locally sourced products, sustainable food sources, limiting the glycemic index etc…

    Where I beg to differ is on their views of saturated fats, and perhaps too much grain based products.

    The concept of improving school food in itself is not new, Jamie Oliver had a go at improving british school food a few years ago (and he also had a go at it in the US), and he is still actively doing that.

    The underlying cause behind this newspaper article is in fact Jamie Oliver complaining that some schools are allowed to wander off the recommendations, and provide processed / industrial meals to pupils, and make money through junk food machines. (here’s another interesting article about this controversy : http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2012/apr/22/jamie-oliver-academies-junk-food )

    It is true to say that school in UK food never been know to be the most gastronomic or health conscious, however the culinary culture was strongly influenced by food shortages in UK during WWII.

    IMHO, any attempt at improvements should be viewed as a positive intention, but I will always remain suspicious of any movement claiming to know ‘the truth’….

    As Max Planck said, “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.”

    I’m all for education. I’m against compulsion, including telling parents they can’t pack whatever they deem fit for their kids’ lunches.

  28. eddie watts

    “Great. And by the way, on the third Friday of every month, my girls are required to walk around all day with a live chicken. I’ll expect you to accommodate them.”

    brilliant! wonder if this will work at my workplace too…

    If we develop some religious headgear, I think it would.

    1. Peggy Sue

      Of course, you will have to provide food-Nazi approved lunches for the chickens to take to school, too.

      I’m okay with that. We let the chickens eat grains.

  29. Galina L.

    I had a hope to declare myself a Paleo-cult member for practical reasons, even though I hardly read any paleo blog nowadays because they worship sweet potatoes now. Fatatarianism would be better description of my diet. I think my diet is good not only for my health , but also for the environment – my household hardly generates any garbage and we support with our $ a grass-fed meat and butter production.

    I’ve been steering away from the paleo label myself for the same reason. Nothing against sweet potatoes, mind you, but there’s a purist streak among some high priests of paleo that I find annoying.

    1. Kristin

      When people ask what my dietary direction is I use a short hand of Low Carb Paleo, sort of. If i’m going to expand I have to give a nod to WAP which usually requires some explanation since WAP doesn’t get as much press despite Sally Fallon’s efforts in Washingon (or perhaps because of.) I eat a little homemade wild sourdough heavily fermented from home ground spelt and I lacto-ferment anything that stands still long enough. And I drink raw ilk and cream. Not very Paleo.

      I think there are a lot of correct diets out there, pretty much one for each person. The only absolutes I see are low sugar, low grain, and approaching zero refined vegetable oils. When you have one diet for every person then labels are cumbersome and zelotic devotion to a particular ingredient just plain silly (even bacon).

      If most people would give up those three (sugar, grains, vegetable oils), they’d be far better off. Beyond that, the benefits are more incremental.

  30. Jason

    Sign me up Tom. Can’t wait for communion where we kneel and have a piece of pepperoni placed in our mouths.

    My mom used to bake communion bread for our local Catholic church. I’ll see if she’s available for pepperoni production.

    1. Kyth

      That would be perfect. Except I’d need an olive to go with it. For some weird reason (and this is the only time it happens) I crave olives whenever I eat pepperoni.

      Fatatarians allow you to bring your own side dishes to communion.

  31. LeeAnn

    Can we get t-shirts that say, “I’m proud to be a Fatatarian”?

    First we’ll need a good religious symbol.

  32. Bruce

    Sign me up! Can this religion also get an exemption on Obamacare?

    What, you think we’ll get exemptions the Catholic Church couldn’t get? I doubt it.

    1. Peggy Holloway

      Anyone can “get an exemption on Obamacare.” You can buy your own insurance. Nothing to stop you. I, on the other hand, am counting the days until I can get a decent policy through the insurance exchanges. I took a header off a curb in Denver in May and all I could do was scream “don’t call an ambulance, I don’t have insurance.” (I do have insurance but it is such a crappy plan that it basically doesn’t pay for anything but it is all I can afford and will keep me from going bankrupt if I am hospitalized; I realize now that it takes a major event to be hospitalized for anything anymore and my little accident would be treated as an outpatient; so, I didn’t go to a doctor but did see a dentist who recommends 4000 of dental work I can’t afford and probably will have to forego). Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you “diss” the ACA.

      I’ve been warned that the ACA will probably force me to buy WAY more insurance coverage than I want or need. (My policy may be deemed not “comprehensive” enough.) We’ll see how it works out. If that turns out to be the case, I will be dissing plenty.

      1. Lori

        Those “decent policies” are expensive. When I was 30 years old and laid off in 1999, COBRA was $300 a month. I didn’t have $300 a month, and since major medical was regulated out of existence in Colorado (it cost me $50 a month as a student a few years before), I went without health insurance for years. Even with a “decent policy,” my accident last year where I broke a tooth and fractured an arm cost me $7000, most of it in dental work.

        I hope our policy isn’t banned when ObamaCare kicks in. Nobody seems to know for sure at this point. When I was picking a policy, I crunched numbers in Excel. In a nutshell, unless I need surgery or another serious treatment every couple of years, I’m way better off with the lower premium/higher deductible model. It means we pay routine medical expenses out of pocket, but we don’t have many of those. When I needed knee surgery last summer, that ran me about $2200. I can live with that. I don’t expect to need knee surgery very often, and it beats paying double the premiums for “comprehensive” coverage I don’t want or need.

  33. Cameron Baum

    What is interesting is the fact that it sends a message to kids that their parents have no idea about what is good for them, and should be ignored about food.

    Since the deeply-held belief of statists is that we don’t know what’s good for us but they do, they probably want kids to get that message.

    1. Cameron Baum

      It was Goeballs who had an interesting reply to the comment that there was notable open dissent in Nazi Germany. He commented that yes, there were free thinkers, but they had the children.

      Imagine kids your daughters age, being taught that carbs is right, fat is bad. Now have that for the rest of their education. If you can have it as early as you can get that message to them…

      I grew up with a French mother who was certain that cooking in fat was unhealthy. We were making comments to each other about arteries clogging up, whenever bacon was being cooked next door in lard. Now, since January, I have been cooking in animal fats, and experimenting with Sunflower oil as a bicycle chain oil.I have leant that my stomach for ages couldn’t properly handle seed oils. Bit how many years did I put it into me, not realising? All because I had grown up with a belief.

      An idea is easier to change than a belief.

      As for religion, say you are Pagan, and that you are following tenants that Odin has given to you. And since he sacrificed his left eye, and hung on the World Tree Yggsdrasil for nine days, just to gain a mountain of wisdom, you are unwilling to challenge the Allfather, lest you end up in Helheim being tormented in eternity by the goddess daughter of Loki. Are they reallu wanting your daughters to suffer in torment for all eternity in a place that makes the Christian Hell seem like a holiday camp?

      Then add some graphic details of the torments, and see what happens…

  34. tom k

    All hail to Grand Lardiest Tom the protector of the sacred bacon scepter and the leader of the Fatians.
    Sign me up, I’m in.

    Consider yourself a convert and perhaps a new disciple.

  35. Waldo

    Another masterpiece Tom. Thank you. I’ll join. A golden hog could be our idol. However you, Mark Sisson, Robb Wolf, Jimmy Moore and many others are already mine.

    Let’s name it The High Holy Hog.

  36. Eleanor

    Ha! Great idea.

    For starters, how about if we abbreviate “saturated fat” as “St. Fat”. ;D

    Love it. There should also be a St. Fat’s day with parades.

    1. Lori

      We’ll co-opt Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday). We can co-opt antlers from Paganism for our symbol–can’t think of an existing religion that forbids venison.

      Horn hats. Yeah, that would work.

      1. Cameron Baum

        In my bathroom, I have a pair of antlers hanging up, with a Guy Fawkes mask strapped to the front. Maybe this is the holy face of St. Fat? The mask from V For Vendetta with horns coming out the top?

        I just started this religion and you have already have a shrine.

        1. Cameron Baum

          I had a vision from St Fat, telling me how to do it. Said the answer would be revealed in time.

          As for a religious symbol, how about a pig in sunglasses giving the thumbs up?

          Not bad, but I’d prefer something you can draw on a person’s forehead using nothing but ashes.

          1. Sandi

            I was thinking that an infinity symbol made of bacon would be an awesome symbol.

            Also, who did I see about getting ordained in our new religion? I’d like to see a baptism in bacon grease 🙂

            Submersion would take a lot of bacon grease. How about anointing the head with a bit of the stuff?

      2. Marilyn

        I think I’ll pass on horn hats. I don’t want to look like a Wagnerian soprano. 🙂

        Tell people you’re a Vikings fan.

  37. tigerh

    Hi Tom, love the blog!
    Leon are a London based restaurant, decent food, a lot of it gluten free (naturally, not manufactured) lots of meat, salad and veg. They wouldn’t really benefit if the guidelines were implemented. I suppose they’re comparable in intent to Jamie Oliver, except they’re not famous! Too bad they’re only really in London, it’s a lot easier to get something decent to eat there than in most other places in shopping areas. I’m not affiliated, just enjoy the food.

    Okay, that’s a relief.

  38. Tom Merhart

    I’m thinking Taubesians. If L. Ron Hubbard can start a religion based on a book then I think Gary Taubes can too!

    I’d be concerned about naming my religion after a person. What if Gary is caught in some compromising situation a year from now?

    1. Cameron Baum

      Good point… It’d be awkward if he was caught eating a tofu birger, and demanding seconds…

  39. Tomas Blesa

    I’ve just checked if domain fatatarian.com is available and it isn’t. 🙁 Sorry.

    Dang! You mean we have a splinter group already?

    1. Loofus

      How about the Lipidites of the Lipidist sect?

      Perhaps the Lipidites should be our version of the Pharisees.

    2. The Older Brother

      It’s two or three web pages with a bunch of links feeding back among them. You don’t want fatatarian.com, anyway. Fatatarian.ORG doesn’t seem to be taken. That’s preferable for a non-profit.

      Cheers

      And we’ll want that tax-exempt status. Anything we pay in taxes could have gone to buying bacon.

  40. Walter Bushell

    Perhaps instead of a pig we could sacrifice a lamb or a goat, so that Jews and Muslims could participate? We do want to be as ecumenical as possible.

    I hadn’t thought of that. A goat it is.

      1. Angel

        NO NO NO – you MUST make some accommodations for pork eaters, because bacon is a sacred food!!!

        Pork-eaters and non-pork-eaters are both welcome. We may have to do a double sacrifice at the annual pilgrimage, one pig and one goat.

        1. Sandi

          We should just sacrifice spam, that way we cover all the animals.

          Good idea, but we’d need a whole bunch of fried eggs to go along with it.

        2. Jill

          IF you’re going to do a pig and a goat, you’ll have to have separate altars and utensils, because as far as kosher goes you can’t mix/contaminate/assicate the non-kosher meat with the kosher.

          (I can’t speak for the halal brigade).

          And forget about seething the kid in the mother’s milk OK?? God said NO to that!

          This is getting more complicated than I expected.

  41. TJ Huber

    Not normally a joiner, but now I am a Fatatarian! Thank you! This needed to be said. Incidentally, as the head of our “church” you are welcome to our farm in Columbia anytime.

    I normally have a Groucho Marx attitude about churches: I wouldn’t join one that would have someone like me as a member. But Fatatarianism welcomes all.

  42. Bob

    “Blessed are the fat-adapted, for they shall inherit the earth.”

    You are, I believe, quoting verse 49 of the Book of Lipolyses.

  43. Debbie

    I’ll join! Perhaps some bumper stickers and t-shirts can be created to inform the public about this new religious movement?

    Or we could go door-to-door an offer people bacon if they let us in to talk.

    1. Firebird

      Great idea…Jehovah’s witnesses tend to show up when people are eating. So, we’ll show up with dinner.

      We’d be less likely to have the door slammed in our faces.

  44. eddie watts

    “Great. And by the way, on the third Friday of every month, my girls are required to walk around all day with a live chicken. I’ll expect you to accommodate them.”

    brilliant! wonder if this will work at my workplace too…

    If we develop some religious headgear, I think it would.

    1. Peggy Sue

      Of course, you will have to provide food-Nazi approved lunches for the chickens to take to school, too.

      I’m okay with that. We let the chickens eat grains.

  45. LeeAnn

    Can we get t-shirts that say, “I’m proud to be a Fatatarian”?

    First we’ll need a good religious symbol.

    1. DavidJ

      I think I will wear one of those “Praise the Lard” T-shirts.

      Good idea. That should also be our refrain in group prayers.

  46. Bruce

    Sign me up! Can this religion also get an exemption on Obamacare?

    What, you think we’ll get exemptions the Catholic Church couldn’t get? I doubt it.

    1. Peggy Holloway

      Anyone can “get an exemption on Obamacare.” You can buy your own insurance. Nothing to stop you. I, on the other hand, am counting the days until I can get a decent policy through the insurance exchanges. I took a header off a curb in Denver in May and all I could do was scream “don’t call an ambulance, I don’t have insurance.” (I do have insurance but it is such a crappy plan that it basically doesn’t pay for anything but it is all I can afford and will keep me from going bankrupt if I am hospitalized; I realize now that it takes a major event to be hospitalized for anything anymore and my little accident would be treated as an outpatient; so, I didn’t go to a doctor but did see a dentist who recommends 4000 of dental work I can’t afford and probably will have to forego). Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you “diss” the ACA.

      I’ve been warned that the ACA will probably force me to buy WAY more insurance coverage than I want or need. (My policy may be deemed not “comprehensive” enough.) We’ll see how it works out. If that turns out to be the case, I will be dissing plenty.

      1. Lori

        Those “decent policies” are expensive. When I was 30 years old and laid off in 1999, COBRA was $300 a month. I didn’t have $300 a month, and since major medical was regulated out of existence in Colorado (it cost me $50 a month as a student a few years before), I went without health insurance for years. Even with a “decent policy,” my accident last year where I broke a tooth and fractured an arm cost me $7000, most of it in dental work.

        I hope our policy isn’t banned when ObamaCare kicks in. Nobody seems to know for sure at this point. When I was picking a policy, I crunched numbers in Excel. In a nutshell, unless I need surgery or another serious treatment every couple of years, I’m way better off with the lower premium/higher deductible model. It means we pay routine medical expenses out of pocket, but we don’t have many of those. When I needed knee surgery last summer, that ran me about $2200. I can live with that. I don’t expect to need knee surgery very often, and it beats paying double the premiums for “comprehensive” coverage I don’t want or need.

        1. Kristin

          I’m glad to see a bit of a discussion on health insurance issues in a forum where the participants don’t expect to need it for things like statins and insulin. I’ve always had good corporate health insurance and tend to pay extra to get the most flexible options on doctors. But my insurance pays only for MDs and over the last couple of years I’ve become very disillusioned with mainstream health care of any sort. It seems to be checking me for signs that I need a drug to control some condition that flawed studies think I will get. No longer paying for doctors but drug dealers.

          I’m considering just changing my insurance to the highest deductible lowest out of pocket expense because I now don’t expect to have heart disease, diabetes or any of those modern diseases. This leaves medical services for if they have to scrape me off a road or a mountain and any hospital can victimize me equally. I don’t have to pay extra for those services.

          It is rather a sad state of affairs to get excited about getting universal health care coverage, flawed as it is, to get services from a medical system that is basically broken. I’d almost rather have leeches.

          I think health insurance should be like car insurance; i.e., covering you in case of a disaster. Too many people think insurance somehow makes everything free. It doesn’t. Insurance is just a means of spreading risk. If everyone gets “free” checkups and routine care, then rates will go up, period. Imagine what you car insurance would cost if it had to cover gas, tuneups, oil changes, new tires, etc.

  47. Don in Arkansas

    I’m in. Send me my membership credentials ASAP. I would also like to be ordained as a minister and perform weddings at the local barbeques.

    I’m still working out the details of what’s required to be a minister. A vow of poverty won’t be required, but may happen spontaneously to ministers who do all their shopping at Whole Foods.

  48. tom k

    All hail to Grand Lardiest Tom the protector of the sacred bacon scepter and the leader of the Fatians.
    Sign me up, I’m in.

    Consider yourself a convert and perhaps a new disciple.

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