{"id":5645,"date":"2013-06-20T19:18:34","date_gmt":"2013-06-21T01:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/?p=5645"},"modified":"2013-06-21T16:02:31","modified_gmt":"2013-06-21T22:02:31","slug":"why-people-hate-vegans-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/2013\/06\/20\/why-people-hate-vegans-part-two\/","title":{"rendered":"Why People Hate Vegans, Part Two"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since working full-time, taking on side projects, blogging, hanging out with the family and writing a book doesn\u2019t keep me busy enough, I thought maybe I\u2019d start a new web site called ExLowCarbers.com<\/em>.\u00a0 The idea would be to \u201cout\u201d any traitors to the cause.\u00a0 Visitors to the site could, say, click a state on a map of the U.S. and see names and descriptions of ex-low-carbers who live there.\u00a0 Then, of course, the angry visitors find the traitors in cyberspace and shame them.\u00a0 I\u2019ll even add the first listing myself: my buddy Richard Nikoley<\/a> in California.<\/p>\n

If that sounds like an incredibly stupid idea, it\u2019s only because it\u2019s incredibly stupid idea.\u00a0 Since I\u2019m not a nutcase, I don\u2019t get upset if Richard does some experimenting and finds that a higher-carb diet works better for him.\u00a0 More power to him.\u00a0 He also doesn\u2019t get upset that I’ve found a low-carb, starch-free diet works best for me.<\/p>\n

If only everyone were so sane.\u00a0 A couple of days ago, the aforementioned Richard Nikoley tweeted (in his characteristic colorful language) a link to a site that “outs” ex-vegans.\u00a0 The banner reads:<\/p>\n

Vegan Sellout List<\/strong><\/p>\n

Calling Ex-Vegans Out By Name<\/strong><\/p>\n

Visitors are invited to submit information about ex-vegans to add to the list.\u00a0 Out of curiosity, I read some listings:<\/p>\n

Chris Kresser: <\/strong> Vegan turned paleo guy. Runs a website about paleo topics. Now eats pure murder.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bob Harper, former star on The Biggest Loser:<\/strong> This TV star felt his body was craving something. So like most weak-willed people, he went for the cheese. Oh but he loves his dog. Really. Hates cows, but his dog\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Naw, Bob probably just pretends those cows are Jillian Michaels before plunging a knife into them.<\/p>\n

Angelo Orozco:<\/strong> Used to be vegan, but started eating meat when he opened his own Crossfit gym.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmm \u2026 so it seems people become ex-vegans when they discover paleo works better for them, or start craving animal products, or open a gym and want to be strong.\u00a0 Those sound like people who are listening to their bodies instead of adhering to dogma.<\/p>\n

Actually, if Chris Kresser is on the list, I\u2019d kind of like to be there too.\u00a0 I wonder how long you have to be a vegan to sell out?\u00a0 During my vegetarian days, I went all-vegan for about a month.\u00a0 (I still have nightmares about the vegan cheesecake I tried to eat before throwing it away.)\u00a0 Perhaps I can report myself and get listed.<\/p>\n

Here are some quotes from the Our Mission<\/em> page:<\/p>\n

Our mission to is provide an outlet for the unbalanced rage of the creator.\u00a0 It was either that or go take an axe to the meat aisle in my local Kroger.<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, I made that one up.\u00a0 Here are the real quotes:<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re no longer vegan, you\u2019re going on the list.<\/span><\/p>\n

Boy, I bet that scares \u2018em silly.\u00a0 I wonder if the FBI could be persuaded to expand the witness protection program to include people on the ex-vegan list.\u00a0 I\u2019m picturing ex-vegans and ex-mobsters playing poker together in an undisclosed location somewhere in Nebraska.\u00a0 (They’d be eating pastrami sandwiches, naturally.)<\/p>\n

The spirits of the billions murdered have risen to deliver: The Vegan Sellout List \u2013 an online directory of those who have regressed from moral consistency to moral depravity.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you believe the spirits of dead animals rose up and helped create your site, I\u2019d suggest you eat a couple of eggs.\u00a0 Your brain is seriously deficient in cholesterol.<\/p>\n

The Vegan Sellout List is our answer to the epidemic of vegan sellouts \u2013 those who are aware of the suffering caused by meat, dairy, egg, fur, and leather production, yet choose to look away while the animals suffer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Look away?\u00a0 Nope.\u00a0 I look right at my chickens when I collect their eggs.\u00a0 Sometimes I yell, “Look!\u00a0 I’m taking away your children!”\u00a0 I\u2019ll look right at them when they stop laying eggs and end up in the soup pot.\u00a0 I looked right at the raccoon that killed their hen-house mates — that\u2019s how you aim a rifle, after all.<\/p>\n

Selling out veganism is a trend on the upswing, bringing with it swarms of haughty, nose-turning carnists uttering nonsensical buzzwords re: veganism being \u201cprivileged\u201d, or \u201ctrendy\u201d, critiquing themselves into ethical degeneracy and paleo-terrorism.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uh, wait a minute \u2026 if veganism is everything the vegan zealots say it is (the key to superior health, etc.), why the heck would abandoning veganism be a \u201ctrend on the upswing\u201d?\u00a0 Perhaps it’s because a lot of people try being vegans and then say to themselves, “Man, I feel like @#$%!\u00a0 I’m ordering a steak!”<\/p>\n

To those who have regressed from veganism, yet display symptoms of a soul not fully blackened to it\u2019s core, we ask you to remind yourself why you were what you were.<\/span><\/p>\n

Boy, wouldn\u2019t whoever wrote that be a fun person to hang around with?\u00a0 I\u2019m reminded of a joke:<\/p>\n

Q: <\/strong> How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?<\/p>\n

A: <\/strong> That\u2019s NOT FUNNY, you @#$%ing MURDERER!!!<\/p>\n

Now, before all you non-preachy vegetarians with a good sense of humor go diving into the comments section to set me straight, allow me to beat you to it:\u00a0 yes, I know you\u2019re not all like that.\u00a0 In a post awhile back, I wrote about a vegan I knew in Los Angeles who not only wasn\u2019t preachy, her live-in boyfriend ate meat \u2013 just not in the house.\u00a0 He ordered bacon when I joined them for breakfast at a restaurant.<\/p>\n

But if you\u2019re honest, you have to admit that the vegan\/vegetarian crowd (especially the vegan crowd) has more than its share of humorless zealots.\u00a0 Look what happened when a restaurant chain dared to make a joke<\/a> in one of it commercials:<\/p>\n

Are vegetarians humorless? It\u2019s the question being asked this week after a Red Robin television ad offended herbivores by touting its 24 types of burgers and then noting, with an implied eye roll and mock whisper, \u201cWe even have a Gardenburger\u2014just in case your teenage daughter is going through a phase.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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The commercial, part of a new campaign ad series, aired for about a week before being rotated out, as was planned from the start. But it prompted outrage among activists and on social media outlets, with a slew of horrified vegetarians taking the eatery to task for its condescending approach.<\/span><\/p>\n

Horrified?\u00a0 Seriously?\u00a0 Let\u2019s suppose the Red Robin commercial had ended with \u201cWe even have a double burger wrapped in lettuce \u2013 just in case your middle-aged husband is going through a \u2018caveman\u2019 phase.\u201d\u00a0 Can you imagine Mark Sisson, or Robb Wolf, or Loren Cordain, or Jimmy Moore becoming outraged over that remark?\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty sure they’d chuckle.\u00a0 I know I would.<\/p>\n

\u201cThough I applaud any fast food chain that offers a veggie burger, and I hope that more do, the idea that not eating animals is reserved solely for teenage girls going through a phase is obviously meant to insult both vegans and girls,\u201d Jasmin Singer, executive director of Our Hen House, a New York-based multimedia vegan activism organization, told Yahoo! Shine.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s the difference again:\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe there are any paleo activism <\/em>organizations.<\/p>\n

As for Red Robin promoting the stereotype that vegans tend to be teenage girls, gee, I wonder if there\u2019s a reason for that stereotype?\u00a0 If we only we had some statistics \u2026<\/p>\n

Oh, wait \u2013 we do.\u00a0 According to this vegan website<\/a>, 78% of the vegans in the U.S. are female, and 69% became a vegan by the age of 24.\u00a0 People didn\u2019t come up with the notion that vegans tend to be young and female out of thin air.\u00a0 As a comedian, I can assure you that if Red Robin\u2019s little joke didn\u2019t have the ring of truth to it, it wouldn\u2019t be funny.<\/p>\n

Of course, if years of veganism caused your funny bone to wither away \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cMy husband and I used to get your Gardenburger\u2014but after your insulting ad, you have lost our business,\u201d wrote one woman on the restaurant\u2019s Facebook page, echoing the comments of an ever-growing slew of others. \u201cI will never visit your restaurant again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

One again, try to imagine me responding like that if Red Robin had made a joke about middle-aged men going through a \u201ccaveman\u201d phase.<\/p>\n

But can’t vegetarians just loosen up and realize it’s all in good fun? <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be silly.\u00a0 See my joke above.<\/p>\n

It was a question tackled by animal advocate and vegan blogger Katrina Donovan Fleming in a June 11 essay, “Just a Joke: Confessions of a ‘Humorless Vegan,'” on Our Hen House.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cExclusionary humor and its acerbic aftertaste are nothing new, of course. Think of all the jokes that are based in racism. The dumb blond jokes. Antigay jokes. This type of humor is a not-so-subtle way of communicating to one\u2019s companions: \u2018We\u2019re better,\u2019\u201d she observes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, I can see why you take these things so seriously.\u00a0 I remember the shameful period in our nation\u2019s history when vegetarians weren\u2019t allowed to drink from public fountains and had to ride in the back of the bus.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019ve said it once, I\u2019ve said it at least twice:\u00a0 some people are only happy when they\u2019re offended.\u00a0 It makes them feel important, especially if they can also convince themselves they\u2019re being persecuted.<\/p>\n

On a positive note for the vegan crowd, PETA is praising the baseball stadium in Philadelphia<\/a> for being the most \u201cvegetarian-friendly\u201d of all the major league parks:<\/p>\n

PETA cites “the unequaled meat-free chicken steak, followed closely by the unique and delicious vegetarian pit-beef barbecue. Other tantalizing cruelty-free treats include faux beef steak, a veggie dog, a black-bean burger, a vegetarian burrito, and calcium-rich hummus and pretzels. The fresh salads and fruit cups are perfect for fans looking for lighter fare.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Meat-free chicken, barbecue, steaks and hot dogs.\u00a0 Interesting choices.<\/p>\n

Note to the angry little pissant who created ExVegans.com:\u00a0 here\u2019s why selling out on veganism is a \u201ctrend on the upswing\u201d:\u00a0 nobody ever walked into a barbecue joint to order a rack of ribs and said, \u201cBy the way, can you make those things taste just like tofu?\u201d<\/p>\n

And yes, that\u2019s funny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since working full-time, taking on side projects, blogging, hanging out with the family and writing a book doesn\u2019t keep me busy enough, I thought maybe I\u2019d start a new web… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-anointed"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5645"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5645\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5656,"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5645\/revisions\/5656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fathead-movie.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}