Obese? You’re Causing Global Warmi — Er, Climate Change!

Well dang, it’s becoming more and more difficult to know who to blame for global warmi—er, climate change.  In my previous post, we learned that climate change is caused by meat-eating men:

Lisa Baker, the Labor member for Maylands in Perth, told the State Parliament her Government should promote reduced meat consumption. She went onto state meat-eating men tend to produce more greenhouse gas emissions than vegan women.

We also learned that white people are causing climate change by eating white-people foods, or something like that:

Caucasian populations are disproportionately contributing to climate change through their eating habits, which uses up more food — and emits more greenhouse gases — than the typical diets of black and Latinx communities, according to a new report published in the Journal of Industrial Ecology.

Data showed that whites produced an average of 680 kilograms of the CO2 each year, attributable to food and drink, whereas Latinx individuals produced 640 kilograms, and blacks 600.

Well, there you go: it’s white people, and especially white men, who are causing climate change through their diets. Case closed.

But then I read this article about a study published in the journal Obesity:

First it was farting cows, and now yet another study into the causes of too much carbon dioxide says obese people are producing more than the average person, helping to harm the planet.

Obesity, the flagship journal of The Obesity Society, has published new research that suggests the increased body mass of people will make it more and more difficult to decrease man-made carbon dioxide emissions entering the atmosphere.

Obese people were found to produce an extra 81kg per year of carbon dioxide emissions from having an increased metabolism, an extra 593kg per year from increased food and drink consumption, and an extra 476kg per year from putting more strain on the transportation industry.

So it’s the obese people causing climate change!  Got it.  But wait a minute … we learned earlier that black and Latinx people don’t cause as much global warming because of their dietary choices. And yet according to the CDC, they also have higher rates of obesity:

Hispanics (47.0%) and non-Hispanic blacks (46.8%) had the highest age-adjusted prevalence of obesity, followed by non-Hispanic whites (37.9%) and non-Hispanic Asians (12.7%).

I’m really struggling to assign blame accurately here. Blacks and Latinx people produce less CO2 because of their diets, according to one study. But since they’re more obese on average than white people, they’re producing more CO2 because of their metabolisms and their strain on transportation systems, according to another study.  All I know for sure is that Asians barely cause any climate change at all.

And then there’s the complex relationship between obesity, income and education, as the CDC notes:

Overall, men and women with college degrees had lower obesity prevalence compared with those with less education.

There’s our answer: FREE COLLEGE FOR EVERYONE! Once everyone has a college degree, obesity rates will drop and people will produce less CO2. The planet will be saved.  Glad we got that one figured out.

Among women, obesity prevalence was lower in the highest income group than in the middle and lowest income groups. This pattern was observed among non-Hispanic white, non-Hispanic Asian, and Hispanic women. Among non-Hispanic black women, there was no difference in obesity prevalence by income.

Hmmm … no relationship between obesity and income for black women. But it holds up in the other groups, so my answer is still the same: FREE COLLEGE FOR EVERYONE!

Obesity prevalence was higher in the highest income group than in the lowest income group among non-Hispanic black men. Although the difference was not statistically significant among non-Hispanic black men, obesity prevalence increased with educational attainment.

Wait, what?! Black men are more likely to become obese as they become more educated and earn higher incomes? Well, I guess we could offer free college to everyone except black men so they don’t become obese and cause climate change, but that just doesn’t seem right somehow. What’s a save-the-planet environmental warrior to do?

Ah, I’ve got it: we know the ketogenic diet has helped countless people to lose weight. Let’s get everyone on a ketogenic diet. Obesity rates will drop and people will produce less CO2. The planet will be saved.

But then I remembered reading this article:

The world cannot run on bacon and butter. Aside from the fact that there are not enough pigs and cows on the Earth to feed every person in such a high-fat way, this kind of meaty diet is dangerous for both human health and our planet’s future.

“Eating a keto diet that’s especially high in red meat will be undermining the sustainability of the climate,” Harvard nutrition professor Dr. Walter Willett told Business Insider. “It’s bad for the person eating it, but also really bad for our children and our grandchildren, so that’s something I think we should totally, strongly advise against. It’s — in fact — irresponsible.”

A United Nations report released just last week suggests the world’s beef-heavy consumption patterns are taking a serious toll on the health of our planet: food systems are now responsible for 37% of greenhouse gas emissions, and cow manure is a major part of that equation, as it releases large amounts of climate-changing nitrous oxide and methane into the air.

When I’m looking for unbiased truth about diets and the climate, those are my go-to sources: Walter Willett and the United Nations.

I’m in a real quandary now. We know that men, and whites, and especially white men, are causing climate change because of their diets. But we also know that blacks and Latinx people are causing climate change because of their higher obesity rates. And we also know that the ketogenic diet – which helps obese people become non-obese – causes climate change.

So let me think … what if you’re a white man and enjoy white-people food that produces more CO2, but you’re not obese? Are you more or less to blame for climate change than a black man who doesn’t eat white-people food but is obese? What if you’re a thin LatinX woman, but eat a lot of meat? Are you more or less to blame for climate change than an obese white woman who’s a vegetarian? What if you’re a white woman who eats a lot of meat, but you think you’re a Cherokee because of your high cheek bones?  And what if obese people of any race or gender go on a ketogenic diet and lose 50 pounds? Does the fact they’re now putting less strain on the transportation system offset the planet-killing effects of the ketogenic diet?

There’s just so much blame to sort out ….

I think the solution here is to form a special Climate Change Blame commission that will meet in some exotic location and determine blame points based on race, gender, body mass, education level, income level, meat consumption, and blood ketone levels. Then we’ll finally know exactly how much to blame each person for climate change. Al Gore can fly in on his private jet and give the keynote speech, followed by a finger-wagging Greta Thunberg.

Or we could just decide it’s a load of bull@#$% and go enjoy our dinners.

Let me know what you decide.


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47 thoughts on “Obese? You’re Causing Global Warmi — Er, Climate Change!

  1. Gilana

    I’m just a simple country Facebook user, but doesn’t it at least make sense, as a start, to mandate all obese white meat-eating men self-identify as thin black vegan women? Just a start, mind you.

    Reply
      1. JillOz

        Finger wagging Greta?

        Why she’ll have you know, Tom, that so many people have been using her identity that she has trademarked several terms of her climate movement and, along with her family, is establishing a foundation!!
        We all know how climate-friendly such things are!!

        That’ll show ’em!

        Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          I suggested spending my days grazing my own pasture after Willett convinced me to eat like a gorilla.

          Reply
  2. Elenor

    “Among women, obesity prevalence was lower in the highest income group than in the middle and lowest income groups. ”

    Wait, wot?! Correlation does NOT equal causation! Isn’t it MUCH more likely that thin women get PAID more than fat women?! You racis… er… sexis… er … WEIGHTIST!! Is that a word? Probably not, so: you BIGOT!!

    Of COURSE since it’s a patriarchal world, and those mean-evil men hate and mistreat and insult fat women… well, um, no, it’s ALL women… men mistreat ALL women! … oh, but especially fat women… But then the skinny ones get more money…. but…. ACK! Brain meltdown!

    Oh wait, that implies the existence OF an idiot-liberal brain. Okay-look, yah just cain’t get theah from heah!! But nice try, Tom!

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      You can see why I want a committee to determined the exact blame points. It’s so complicated, only a small group of experts can do it correctly.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        As populations get more money they eat more meat. We got no choice othplaer than to eat the Vegans.

        After all all diets are plant based, some foods are concentrated and transformed by animals for us.

        Reply
  3. Cameron Hidalgo

    The solution is the same now as it ever has been. Stop eating entirely.

    Only when all humans have starved away, will human caused climate change be over.

    Ironically, the death of humans would in and of itself cause the largest/swiftest change in climate so far.

    Plus zero obesity, zero heart attacks, zero cancer, zero etc.

    I’m being facetious, but sometimes I’m not sure if this isn’t an actual hidden agenda goal.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I’m pretty sure what these people have in mind is a planet with far fewer humans — but of course, they will be among the humans still here.

      Reply
  4. Anonymous

    SO : The carbon dioxides from my body is helping Northern Ontario forests grow better , WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT ???????????

    Reply
  5. Kathy in OK

    There are Butcher Box ribeyes in my freezer. Taking one out now. Thanks for the reminder Dave.

    Tom, I’ve missed you.

    It must be the season for bloggers to saddle up again. Dr. Michael Eades posted for the first time in TWO YEARS.

    Reply
  6. Jeff

    Ah, the intersectionality of the politics of the left. We definitely need a committee to figure out which group is the most important!

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      It’s all so confusing, I don’t whether I’m supposed to feel more guilty for being born male or being born white. I actually have more West African DNA than Elizabeth Warren has Native American DNA, so perhaps I’ll get a pass on being white.

      Reply
  7. Robert

    The Intellectual Yet Idiots strike again. I’m sure they realize that CO2 is plant food. It is not a pollutant. It is essential to life on Earth. The same gas we and all other heterotrophic organisms exhale as glucose and fatty acids combust in our bodies to give us energy is the same gas that comes out of a car’s tailpipe. Never mind the Medieval Warm Period where average temps were about 3 degrees C warmer than they were now. Cars, power plants, and other fossil fuel burning devices didn’t exist. In the 1970’s, global cooling was the looming climate boogeyman. It’s a crock. By the way, I gave you a plug on one Peter Ballerstedt’s videos. I quoted your description of the Anointed.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      If you’re going to apply logic and reason like that, you’ll never acquire a lofty position in the utopia the social justice warriors are bringing about.

      Reply
  8. Lori

    The answer is to calculate a weighted average for everyone based on weight, sex, race and diet, sum them for everyone within a political boundary (like a city or county), and issue carbon credits the city or county can swap with other cities or counties. It will solve everything!

    Reply
  9. Don

    This is easy to solve. Whomever needs to be eliminated to further the totalitarian power grab at that moment is to blame. It will rotate accordingly. You keep trying to apply logic when logic had already been judged to be a function of white, patriarchal, fascist, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, islamophobic, racist, hetero-normist, misogynistic, rape culture inspired garbage. Damn I’m smart!!!

    Reply
  10. Deb

    I think we simply have to stop saying “How stupid can they get?”. To some of these folks, it seems like they take it as a personal challenge!

    Reply
  11. Alain

    Obesity is a real problem.
    I went back from vacation from Costa Rica.
    In the resort, almost all people (99%) are overweight or obese. The natives are the same.

    When walking on the beach a made jalous men because I did not have a huge belly like a pregnant woman. They were walking with beer jar.

    On the buffet , at least 80% were leaving food in their plate, but had room for desert.

    They are the same people who want to save the planet.

    My plane ticket is the same price of someone who weight twice my weigth. This is not fair.

    Reply
  12. Donna

    Soylent Green, anyone?

    One thing that I think would help is reducing edible food waste at home, in schools, and in restaurants. My sister used to work at a grade school. She said the food servers were required to put all the food on the children’s plates whether they wanted it or not. Then, hundreds of pounds of untouched food would be discarded every day. I’ve eaten at Golden Correl one time. Adults were piling their small children’s plates high, then discarding 80% of the food. I grew up to eat the food that was put on my plate. If I was still hungry, I could have more. Is this not a thing anymore?

    Reply
  13. Firebird7479

    I just read an article this weekend on Niagara Falls, how long it’s been there, how long it took to form, etc. The primary cause of the creating of Niagara Falls?

    CLIMATE CHANGE.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Same goes for most interesting features of the planet, which were carved by advancing and retreating glaciers.

      Reply
      1. Firebird7479

        The Grand Canyon, too. I wouldn’t put it past the Climate Change people to demand that the canyon be filled in.

        Reply
  14. Colin MacDonald

    Were white men to forego their steaks, and guzzle corn tortillas, or some equivalent HEART HEALTHY grains, we could return a few million acres of the Great Plains to bison, to the benefit of the environment, shaving off a collossal hundredth of a degree off global warming in the next hundred years. Some nasty empiricists might point that most of AGW impact of cows comes from their incorrigible farting, and that herds of bison will likewise also fart, mitigating any benefits.
    In any case, quantifying the impact of Methane on the climate is difficult, it’s got a half life folks! Of course Greenies do tend to oversimplify things, have a tendency to stop thinking when they get the answer they want, and in this case can devote their energies to berating us about our diet.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Not difficult to suss out the agenda. The co-founder of Greenepeace quit his own organization because it was taken over by renegade socialists.

      https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/greenpeace-co-founder-patrick-moore-tells-us-senate-there-is-no-proof-humans-cause-climate-change-9159627.html

      The CLIMATE CHANGE!! hysteria is all about providing socialists with leverage to demand economic control — to save the planet, doncha know. In fact, if someone ever came up with incontrovertible proof that CLIMATE CHANGE!! is natural and has nothing to with human activity, it would be the worst news ever for them.

      Reply
      1. Stuart

        “if someone ever came up with incontrovertible proof that CLIMATE CHANGE!! is natural and has nothing to with human activity, it would be the worst news ever for them.”

        Someone already has – Henrik Svensmark has shown that the cosmic rays reaching the lower atmosphere have declined because the Sun’s magnetic field has doubled over the 20th century. Less cosmic rays means less cloud nucleic, thus less clouds, less clouds means more solar radiation hits Earth’s surface (less is reflected back into space).
        Less clouds mean less rain, so surface temperatures are higher.

        A common misconception is that droughts are caused by heatwaves, when in fact the causation is the other way around. In normal conditions most of the solar radiation goes into evaporating water – it’s called the latent heat of vapourisation and it’s the principle that runs your refrigerator and air conditioner. In a drought not only is there less water to evaporate, you’re also getting more solar radiation because of the lack of clouds. The shrieking by the Climate Alarmists that global warming will cause widespread droughts ignores the fact that higher temperatures would mean more evaporation from the oceans, resulting in MORE rain.

        Svensmark’s work is outlined in the book The Chilling Stars by Svensmark and Nigel Calder. Needless to say it’s been ignored by the Alarmists.

        Reply
  15. Ulfric Douglas

    What if farting didn’t cause global warming? Then how the hell would ‘journailists’ be able to blame Genetically-Northern-European-Males for that slice of the ills of the world? Hope nobody notices…

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I’m 0.04 percent West African, so based on the Elizabeth Warren rule, I’m pretty sure I get a pass.

      Reply

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