Hi Fat Heads!
All right, first — about that title…
I’ve used the “Older Brother” moniker since I started guest posting here. Actually, I started using it when commenting on some of Tom’s posts, and then adopted it as a nom de plume for my posts when Tom started letting me take over The Big Chair while he was off on sundry missions to educate and entertain the masses. As some of the other family got mentioned, I kind of stuck to it — “The Middle Son” (our Ranger), “The Oldest Son” (you know you love the pizza), etc.
When I’ve mentioned my bride of these past 30 years, it’s always been as The Wife. But “The Older Brother’s Wife” just sounded kind of flat for a title. I’ve always kidded that I married an older women, because she was born exactly three weeks before me. [Being a guy, that’s how I remember her birthday — “let’s see, my birthday’s the 16th, so 16 from 21 is 5, so then 5 from 31 is, okay — the 26th! No wait, May has 31 days, she’s born in April, so that’s 30, minus the 5 is — the 25th!” Easy peasy.] So, when I decided to share a great recipe she’s been making, I figured I had to stick to the system. Don’t worry, she’s okay with it.
And I’m okay with sleeping on the couch for awhile.
Anyway, I’m just going to come out and say this (you may want to hold onto something) :
Some days, you just don’t want bacon.
I know. Bacon and eggs is kind of the sacramental breakfast meal for us low-carb/paleo/primal/real food/what-have-you types. But some days you just want something different. And I know we make fun of the “V” people who rave about burger-shaped soy crud, and meat-like soy crud, and nugget-like soy crud, and we say things like “you never hear Grok saying he wished someone would make a steak that tastes like tofu!” but every once in awhile I think I’d just like to maybe have a bowl of cereal.
I particularly liked the granola one with honey and oats from the old guy with the long white hair and funny hat. I’d have a bowl of that in the morning and think “boy, that was good! And healthy! Maybe I should have another bowl.” And then I’d think, “Man, that was REALLY good. Maybe I’ll just have one more bowl.” Then off to work, all fueled up for a couple of hours of work, before starting to wonder how I could be so damned hungry after eating such a big, healthy breakfast.
So yeah, like that kind, but without the metabolic roller coaster getting involved.
Well, The Wife likes bacon and sausage and all, but she doesn’t like it every day. Plus, she leaves for work most mornings before 7am, and some days cooking just doesn’t seem to fit into the morning schedule. So she kind of went on a mission to find some other low-carb breakfast options, because you can only eat so much yoghurt.
Some she found were good, some she liked and I didn’t care for, or vice versa, but she hit on one a couple of months ago that the whole family likes. It’s called “Grain Free Coconut Crunch Granola.” She found it on pinterest, but it came from a nice young lady in Australia with a blog called Brooks Kitchen of Culinary Dreams that focuses on low-carb, low-sugar, gluten-free recipes.
I told a commenter in an earlier post who was hesitant about cooking because of a disaster trying a cake or something that “baking is science, but cooking is art.” In other words, exacting vs. carefree. Well this recipe is so easy, I’d put in at the “finger-painting” end of the art scale.
Here’s the ingredients:
3 cups coconut flakes (unsweetened)
2 cups cashews, roughly chopped *
2 tbsp chia seeds
1/3 cup flaxmeal
1/2 cup almond flour
1/2 cup coconut oil
10 drops stevia **
1/2 cup dried mango, roughly chopped ***
We always do the recipe as printed the first time, then play around. We make the following substitutions now:
* 1 cup cashews, 1/2 cup walnuts, and 1/2 cup pecans for variety (plus, it’s cheaper!)
** Splenda — for a double recipe we use 3 packets (about 1 tsp)
*** We use a mango/blueberry/cherry mix from Trader Joe’s
Assemble your ingredients, set the oven at 300(F), and then do a little chopping (just the nuts now).
Here’s what we consider a rough chop:
Once that’s done, mix the first 5 dry ingredients around in a big bowl:
Melt the coconut oil if it’s not already liquid, stir the sweetener in well, then add it to the dry stuff and mix it well (I didn’t forget the mangoes — they come in later).
Dump the bowl onto a parchment covered cookie sheet, and spread evenly (this, per normal at our house, is a double batch):
Put the cookie sheet in the oven for 20 minutes, then pull it out and use a spatula to turn the mix over to keep it browning evenly.
While the granola is doing this first 20 minutes in the oven, we chop the mango fruit mix:
Check and turn the granola again every 10 or 15 minutes until it reaches your favorite shade of golden brown (probably 2 or 3 more turns, maybe an hour or so total in the oven — remember, it’s finger painting, not rocket science).
Now you take it out of the oven, mix in the fruit, and and let it cool.
At that point it’s all over except the storing. Or eating.
I eat it like cereal in a bowl with some of Linda’s raw milk; The Wife likes to mix it with Greek yoghurt and take it with her to work; it’s good on ice cream; or just shake some out of the container and snack on it as is.
All the fun, none of the crash.
Oh yeah, and
Happy Moo Year!
— The Older Brother (and The Wife)
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