Dr. Willett Has Convinced Me To Become A Gorilla

Dr. Walter Willett, whom the Boston Globe once described as the world’s most influential nutritionist, has finally convinced me to adopt the diet of a gorilla. Yes, it’s a big mental shift, but the turning point came when I read about a rigorous, unbiased study Dr. Willett recently conducted, as reported in the U.K. Telegraph:

At least one-third of early deaths could be prevented if everyone moved to a vegetarian diet, Harvard scientists have calculated.

Recent figures from the Office for National Statistics suggested that around 24 per cent or 141,000 deaths each year in Britain were preventable, but most of that was due to smoking, alcohol or obesity.

But the new figures from Harvard suggest that at least 200,000 lives could be saved each year if people cut meat from their diets.

Wow. Apparently giving up meat would provide as many health benefits as giving up smoking or heavy drinking. Or to put it another way, apparently eating meat is as damaging to your health as smoking or heavy drinking.

I admit, I found this confusing at first. As a logical person, I tend to assume if a change in diet provides massive health benefits – like, say, giving up meat prevents one-third of all premature deaths – we’d see consistent evidence to that effect.

But that’s not what we’ve seen. When it comes to meat and health, the evidence has been all over the place. Sure, vegetarians can cherry-pick some observational studies in which vegetarians had longer lifespans, but I can just as easily quote from observational studies in which they didn’t.

For example, here’s the conclusion from a study titled Mortality in vegetarians and comparable nonvegetarians in the United Kingdom:

In conclusion, our results suggest that United Kingdom–based vegetarians and comparable nonvegetarians (including people who eat fish but not meat and those who eat meat <5 times per week on average) have similar all-cause mortality.

That’s in spite of the fact that the people classified as “regular meat-eaters” in this study were older and less active on average than the vegetarians.

Here’s a similar conclusion from an Australian study titled Vegetarian diet and all-cause mortality, which included more than 250,000 people aged 45 and older:

We found no evidence that following a vegetarian diet, semi-vegetarian diet or a pesco-vegetarian diet has an independent protective effect on all-cause mortality.

No difference in mortality in two large studies, and yet Dr. Willett calculated that one-third of all premature deaths would be prevented if we all stopped eating meat – and we know Dr. Willett has to be right because he’s from Harvard. But how can his conclusions differ so drastically from the conclusions drawn from large epidemiological studies? Like I said, it was confusing.

But then I read this:

Dr Walter Willett, professor of epidemiology and nutrition at Harvard Medical School said the benefits of a plant-based diet had been vastly underestimated.

Ahhhh, now it makes perfect sense! The reason those other large studies didn’t find a longevity benefit for vegetarians is that the benefits were vastly underestimated! Those silly scientists just didn’t see what was right in front of them.

Nothing unusual there at all. It happens all the time. Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of the modern NFL era, yet he wasn’t drafted until the sixth round. Teams chose 198 other players ahead of him. NFL scouts looked at the guy and weren’t impressed. They vastly underestimated the benefits Brady could provide.

Nonetheless, I was still unclear on exactly how these inferior scientists were so wildly underestimating the benefits of a vegetarian diet. But this cleared it up for me:

British-born Professor David Jenkins, of the University of Toronto, also told the conference that the benefits of vegetarianism had been ‘undersold.’

His team recently teamed up with The Bronx Zoo in New York and travelled to central Africa to record the feeding habits of gorillas.

Man, it’s times like this I’m painfully aware of the gaps in my education. I stupidly assumed if you want to calculate the benefits of a particular diet on humans, you study humans. Turns out you’re supposed to study gorillas. Anyway, here’s what they found:

When they recreated the diet for humans – which amounted to 63 servings of fruit and vegetables a day – they found a 35 percent fall in cholesterol, in just two weeks, the equivalent of taking statins.

“That was quite dramatic,” he said “We showed that there was no real difference between what we got with the diet and what we got with a statin.”

Around 17.5 million people eligible for statins to stave off heart disease, equating to most men over 60 and most women over 65.

I’d like to have a chat with the people who consumed 63 servings of fruits and vegetables per day while lowering their cholesterol levels so dramatically.  I curious about how much they enjoyed that diet.  I’d also like to know how many of them found bananas and apples to have the same metabolic effects as broccoli and asparagus, since fruits and vegetables always seemed to be lumped together in these studies.

Anyway, let’s the follow the logic:

  • Recreating a gorilla’s diet for humans – which translates to 63 servings of fruits and vegetables per day – reduces cholesterol as much as statins.
  • According to the latest guidelines, almost everyone over 65 who still has a pulse should be on statins … even though statins have been demonstrated to prevent premature death for pretty much nobody except older men who’ve already had a heart attack or are at unusually high risk of heart attack. But within those highly specific groups, taking statins may prevent one heart attack for every 100 people treated … at least in the most positive studies.
  • Therefore, if everyone stopped eating meat, we’d prevent one-third of premature deaths.

Dang, I’m humbled. I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots myself. This is the kind of solid, unbiased scientific reasoning that’s made Harvard and other universities such trusted sources for advice on diet and health.

And so, thanks to the impeccable work of Dr. Willett and his colleagues, I now understand I should be eating like a gorilla.

Vegetrollians, of course, have been telling me that for years. Oh, yeah? You think you need meat for complete protein? What about gorillas, huh? HUH?! They’re big and strong enough to tear you apart, and they only eat plants!

I’ve always replied that if I ever wake up and find myself with a gorilla’s big jaws and huge digestive system required to extract protein from leaves and metabolize cellulose fibers into fats, I’ll give the gorilla diet a try.

But thanks to Dr. Willett and his colleagues, I see that was limited thinking on my part. Who’s to say I can’t develop the physiology of a gorilla? When did that become a law of the universe? Maybe I don’t have gorilla-sized jaws because I haven’t exercised them enough.

In fact, once I worked past my speciesist biases, I began to see the advantages of becoming more like a gorilla. That huge gut size I mentioned above is just one of them. For human beings, a big ol’ round belly is both embarrassing and unhealthy … yet many us of struggle to maintain a flat belly. In fact, a comedienne I worked with back in my standup days speculated that men decide they’re ready to get married when they finally grow tired of exercising and sucking in their bellies.

On the other hand, have you ever seen a gorilla trying to suck in his gut when there’s a lady gorilla around? Of course not. For gorillas, a healthy belly looks like this:

Again, that’s because living on fibrous plants requires a ginormous digestive system. With enough time and effort, I believe I can expand my digestive system to the size of a gorilla’s. And if some snarky person comments on my girth, I’ll just reply, “Look, you idiot, I’m working my way up to 63 servings per day of fruits and vegetables, and this is what it takes. Dr. Willett says it’s good for me, and he has to know what he’s talking about, because he’s at Harvard.”

The more I think about it, the more I’m looking forward to going out and buying the kind of “relaxed fit” clothes I tossed after I lost my big belly by switching to a high-meat, low-carb diet.  I could gain 15 pounds over the holidays while wearing those clothes, and they still fit just fine.  Nowadays, gaining 15 pounds means my pants are tight.

But even more than the new wardrobe, I’m looking forward to spending 80 percent of my waking hours chewing my food or resting from the effort. I don’t mean to complain, but my current lifestyle can be hectic. There’s the programming work, the commute to the office, family responsibilities, weekend farm work, researching and writing posts, animating and sound-mixing and composing music for the Fat Head Kids film, etc., etc.

Gorillas don’t deal with that kind of stress. Because their diets consist mostly of fibrous plant matter, they get to spend nearly all day chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing their food to extract the nutrients, then resting. Thanks to Dr. Willett and his colleagues, I now recognize what a healthy, relaxed lifestyle that would be for me. I want in.

I believe Chareva will agree I’m entitled to the change. We both had jobs early in our marriage, but before the girls came along, we decided I should provide all the income so she could be 100% available for the wee ones.

We didn’t make that decision lightly, of course. Because I’m such an avid reader of academic papers produced by gender-studies departments, I pointed out that making her financially dependent on me would reproduce existing patterns of discrimination and inequality imposed by the patriarchy. She countered with something like, “Shut up and go to work,” so I reluctantly agreed to oppress her.

But she surely recognizes that as teenagers, the girls are no longer as dependent on her. Seeing Mommy go to work and take over the mortgage-paying responsibilities might even inspire and empower them. And if that doesn’t convince Chareva, I’ll simply say, “Look, Honey, if I don’t start eating like a gorilla, I’ll probably die soon anyway. Dr. Willett said as much, and he’s a professor at Harvard, so we know he’s right. At least this way, you can visit me in the back pastures when I’m out there gathering and chewing my dinner.”

I know some of you wacky paleo and low-carb meat-eaters will disagree with my decision to become a gorilla.  Some of you may even hurl insults in response. Well, I’m not worried. According to Dr. Willett, two-thirds of you will die prematurely anyway, so you won’t be around to argue with me.

And I know Dr. Willett is right, because he’s a professor at Harvard.

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135 thoughts on “Dr. Willett Has Convinced Me To Become A Gorilla

  1. Dillon Bedard

    I wonder what Dr. Willett would say about eating our own feces to get the nutrients we missed in our food’s first pass through our digestive system. Gorillas are known to do that, too…

    Reply
    1. Mark

      Another case for Dr. Willett ignoring inconvenient facts: gorillas are known to eat the occasional insect.

      Are insects a vegetarian food? I don’t know, but you’d think that a lifestyle that kills millions of bugs a year (via pesticides, herbicides, industrial fertilizers, etc.) would allow them to eat a few.

      At least Tom gets to diversify his diet with termites, ants, and caterpillars. Yum yum.

      Reply
  2. Tom Welsh

    Does anyone know if Dr Willett has produced any actual facts or figures to support his claim about saving one third of us from an early grave?

    Or is his claim just intuitively obvious?

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I don’t know if Willett was ever an objective scientist, but he clearly isn’t one now. This is case of torturing the data until it says what you want to hear. Harvard should put him out to pasture (where he can gather and chew his dinner) before he destroys what’s left of the nutrition department’s credibility.

      Reply
      1. KidPsych

        And he didn’t even repeat David Diamond’s tongue-in-cheek warning that eating red meet also appears one to be in more car accidents. Of course, being a gorilla and driving is completely safe. I’ve yet to see one die in a car crash!

        Reply
      2. chris c

        Bit too late for that I’m afraid. Between Walt Wallet and Frank Hunilever they lost it some time ago.

        “you can always tell a Harvard man. You just can’t tell him much”

        Reply
    2. Björn Hammarskjöld

      As WW is one if the anointed words from him must be true
      The translations of the word “anoint” into Swedish is “smörja”. “Smörja” has many different meanings like anoint, lubricate, gease, bribe and rubbish and some more synonyms

      Reply
  3. Tom Welsh

    I was also deeply impressed by the Boston Glob’s claim that Dr Willett is “the world’s most influential nutritionist”. Much as I appreciate the Glob’s vast erudition and experience, I wonder whether “influence” is really the best yardstick by which to measure scientists.

    Ancel Keys was very, very influential indeed.

    Personally, I incline more to scientists who are *right*.

    Reply
  4. Walter

    I will be laughing for days about this.

    Another head banger: I heard the employees of StarBucks® saying “Humans are the only mammal that drinks milk after weaning, but we are also the only animal that brews coffee or cooks.

    Gorillas are not even our closest living relative, that honor goes to the chimps and the bonobos. The closest relative that we have an idea of the diet is the Neanderthals who apparently ate a very high meat diet. But looking for clues to diet in related species is specious, especially when the species are separated by millions of years of evolution.

    For gorillas feces eating is efficient because the feces are already predigested and don’t need chewing, so very time effective. Vegans® would be against this because feces are an animal product, and a good source of B-12.

    63 fruits and vegetables is about 30 bananas a day. A famous internet nut advocates that but he has to bike hours a day to burn off the excess calories.

    Note: The lives extended is a calculated number based on the assumption that lowering cholesterol saves lives.

    And on this diet, one cannot eat grains or other seeds including beans, there goes the bulk of the typical Vega® diet.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      True story about the famous internet nut: As you know, he’s quite proud of his skinny vegan build, which he seems to think makes him look buff. I had pulled up one of his videos to chuckle at what passes for vegan logic when Sara came in to ask me a question. She looked at Mr. 30 Bananas and asked, “Dad, is that a boy or a girl?”

      Since I don’t want the physique of an adolescent girl, I don’t follow his advice.

      Reply
  5. Firebird7478

    “Sure, vegetarians can cherry-pick some observational studies in which vegetarians had longer lifespans, but I can just as easily quote from observational studies in which they didn’t.”

    Linda McCartney, Steve Jobs, Davey Jones, Adam Yauch — vegans/vegetarians who died of cancer or heart disease, which leads me to the following conclusion:

    The death rate for vegans/vegetarians is 100 %.

    Reply
  6. BobM

    I saw that and read the article a few days ago. When the say they “recreated the diet”, what the heck does that even mean? Did they actually test this on humans? Or did they just hypothesize?

    I basically ignored the article after “Recent figures from the Office for National Statistics suggested that around 24 per cent or 141,000 deaths each year in Britain were preventable, but most of that was due to smoking, alcohol or obesity.” How does one die from obesity? Isn’t it the things that cause obesity that then cause death? Maybe they should look into the things that cause obesity instead (hint: it’s not meat; if you think it is, eat just meat for a month or so….).

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I find it difficult to believe they actually had humans live on 63 servings of fruits and vegetables per day. And if they did, whatever time the subjects didn’t spend chewing was spent in the bathroom.

      Reply
      1. K2

        Exactly! 63 servings?? Geez, no one’s digestive system could tolerate that. You stomach and intestines would explode.

        I have read articles about vegans eating something like 2 lbs of produce for breakfast alone. One meal! I love my veggies and eat them in quantities my rather small body needs and wants. The vegan wackos have gone off the deep end with their recommendations, or more like commandments. Their brains must be withering away from lack of saturated fat.

        Also, aren’t vegans all about sustainability? There’s no way on God’s green earth that we as a species could grow enough produce for everyone to eat that volume.

        K2

        Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          They think they’re about sustainability, but only because they have looked into the environmental damage caused by monocrop farming. If you really want to save the environment, you raise grass-eating animals in pastures.

          Reply
    2. Walter

      You can die from obesity if, for examples, you are too fat for EMS to get through the door, or you are so heavy that the floor collapses underneath you, or a cannibal decides you are just too tempting.

      None of these examples are probable enough to account for the claimed statistics, however.

      Reply
  7. Bill

    I’m sure I’m missing something here. They take the diet of a ruminant with a completely different digestive tract, a huge stomach, largely sedentary lifestyle and a need to eat 24 hours a day and recommend it for humans? Are they completely F*****g mad? Is this what passes for research these days? Who the hell sponsored this, London Zoo?

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      No, they’re not mad. They’re vegan zealots. Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        His nutritional deficiencies may have caught up to him. If he isn’t getting enough B12, they be irreversible. Harvard’s reputation is greatly exaggerated.

        Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          Willett is certainly helping to destroy that reputation. Any time I see “new Harvard study says” in a news story, my first thought is “here comes the b.s.”

          Reply
    2. The Older Brother

      Well, now that you’ve brought up the f*** word, keep in mind that gorillas also have 1&1/2 inch, um, “genitals,” spend about twenty seconds max having sex, and regularly engage in polygamy and infanticide.

      [Insert Progressive/Veg*/Liberal/Democrat joke here]

      Cheers

      Reply
    3. Walter

      Pardon me, but gorillas are not ruminants. They are hind gut digesters. Yes they ferment leaves and tree bark etcetera to short chain fatty acids.

      Are they mad?! By the strict srynk definition, no because they receive significant social support for their positions. If I say I am God and I can get 5 or 10 to agree with me and agree to meet and worship me, I would not be considered crazy.

      An example: I saw a site that said that gorillas get over 50% of their calories from fermenting fiber, but still recommended the gorilla diet for humans, in spite of our large intestine being much smaller and basically a storage bin and a water retrieval organ. They know we will do poorly on the diet, but they still recommend it.

      Reply
  8. Stephane D.

    Good one! I almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard. Twice.

    Can I still have coffee on the Gorilla Diet (TM)?

    Reply
      1. Elenor

        Well, now, when they are chocolate-covered coffee beans, they’re d@mned delicious!

        We used to call them “proposal pills” back when I was working a hard deadline on a govt proposal to be submitted by a … large aircraft maker out west… My longest week was 97.6 hours; but I lost to a guy who slept in his CAR in the parking lot (he had 98.2 hours, the dirty dog!) — I, at least, went to the hotel to grab an hour or two (and you KNOW how important healthy sleep is to productive healthy living!) (I didn’t at the time!)

        So, maybe we can use our soon-to-be gorilla guts to digest chocolate and coffee beans? We’d be wide awake while we chew…

        Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      The people who think cow farts cause global warming should be adamantly opposed to this diet.

      Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          That effect of the plant-based diet on gorillas wouldn’t likely make a person a welcome guest at formal occasions.

          Reply
          1. Walter

            Getting up and running to the “throne” every 15 minutes would also not be conducive to formal dining. Perhaps just feed them on the throne.

            Programmers could never get into flow, except flow of excrement.

            If it seems I’m beating a dead horse, the horse is still kicking and killing people and ruining lives.

            Reply
              1. Firebird7478

                Do you recall the “It’s funny now” story John Nicholson told in “The Meat Fix” where he ran into the Art Institute of Chicago, begging the security guard to use the bathroom before he had a rather unpleasant bowel movement?

                This was a common occurrence for him and for years he blamed everything but the diet.

                Great book and I thank for the review and recommendation when it came out.

                Reply
              2. Walter

                No you would not. Or rather you’d have the time but you’d have severe enough intestinal cramps as to make reading unlikely.

                Reply
          2. chris c

            If he actually tried to eat that way (unlikely or his sponsors at Oldways would have something to say) you better hope he doesn’t share an office, and has an en-suite toilet. Soundproof.

            When the UK recommendations went from 5 a day to 10 a day some people including journalists tried it and found it next to impossible. 63 a day is just farcical

            Reply
            1. Tom Naughton Post author

              I’m glad they’ve gone to ridiculous levels. Makes people less likely to listen to them.

              Reply
              1. Walter

                Better if potential Vegans try the diet. After seeing and smelling the results they will no doubt renounce the Veganism.

                Reply
        2. Lori Miller

          My dog passes such stinky gas that I have to roll down the windows and turn on the fan if we’re in the car. Maybe I should start cooking his cauliflower.

          Reply
          1. chris c

            Once when I took my car in for a service, another customer’s dog dropped such an appalling fart that I had to shut myself into one of the cars in the showroom with the doors and windows closed until it had dissipated.

            In my case wheat was the worst offender, does your dog eat kibble? That might be the culprit.

            Reply
  9. Mike

    Years ago Dr. Oz had some shows on the Discovery Channel that ran experiments of various kinds. One of them actually did have a bunch of people on the “gorilla diet”. They ate all day, (in a zoo if I recall), and did make mention of the frequent trips to the restroom. They ate fruits and veggies, and one brined olive for salt.

    The results were improved by usual medical standards, which I assume included lowered total cholesterol and LDL. this was before I had ever heard of low carb.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Frequent trips to the bathroom and gorilla farts … yup, sounds like a perfect diet for civilized humans.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        On the subway in NYC, just wonderful. Breathing can be difficult now and for people making half hour trips, just forget it.

        “It is not, nor it cannot come to good” Hamlet (act 1, scene 2)

        Reply
    2. Walter

      I remember reading about that study.

      I think choosing gorillas instead of chimps, bonobos or Neanderthals shows malice aforethought. Common enough in nutritional “research”. Shouldn’t “research” be called “search”, “research” should be saved for trying to back up a foreordained conclusion.

      Reply
    3. Laura

      Thank you! I remember seeing that but I haven’t been able to find any mention of it anywhere and was beginning to think I’d dreamed it, lol. You’re correct – a bunch of people sat around in a zoo eating raw fruit and veg all day long. It was ridiculous.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        Gorilla diet for humans should be mostly lettuce, other greens leaves, and thee bark with a little tropical fruit. Sounds like a diet Adell Davis planned.

        Reply
  10. Firebird7478

    I just had to stop by to say I had to endure 45 minutes of “What the Health” while waiting in my doctor’s office. Fortunately he is a chiropractor so he was able to treat my neck from banging my head against the wall.

    Reply
      1. Firebird7478

        Yep, he does. He hasn’t eaten meat in 20 years and his office is filled with vegan and plant based supplements and protein powders. The young girl at the front desk said she has a list of movies on Netflix that she is to play…and they’re all plant based propaganda.

        Reply
          1. Firebird7478

            One of the first things he did when he evaluated me was to have me give him an idea of what I eat for all my meals. His conclusion was that I eat too much protein and felt that the 135-160 gms/day was too high.

            Reply
              1. Firebird7478

                I take his dietary advice with a grain of salt…literally…don’t want him to go on a “salt is bad for you” rant.

                Reply
                1. Dianne

                  Mercy, I’m glad my chiropractor has better sense. In addition to being a top-notch chiropractor, she’s very much into nutrition, but of the meat-eggs-seafood-green veggies-moderate fruits-healthy fats (like butter, avocados and coconut oil) variety. She says my cholesterol is fine (my MD says it’s too high) and the repeating films in her office waiting room include dire warnings against statins. I’m just praying some MD or dietitian of the hearthealthywholegrains, everybody-over-age-ten-on-statins school of “thought” doesn’t get wind of her and try to haul her into court!

                  Reply
                  1. Firebird7478

                    I’m new with this guy and I have to travel an hour to see him because he performs a specific chiropractic technique (Gonstead) and he’s the only one in the area that does it exclusively. I pay no attention to what he says regarding diet but have challenged him when he called quinoa and beans better protein alternatives to meat — pointing out that neither are good sources of protein and are high carb foods.

                    Reply
              2. Firebird7478

                I just got back from the chiropractor’s. This week they were showing “Forks over Knives”. SMH There was a discussion between me and another patient about the validity of the claims in the documentary when the office manager spoke up. She had two heart attacks last Thursday. She had stents put in. She was out of the hospital in two days and back to work on Monday. She is 40 lbs. overweight, on 2 statins yet she credits her vegan diet for her ability to return to work so quickly!

                Reply
  11. Stealth

    Seems to me that most vegans and vegetarians don’t really eat all that many fruits and vegetables–what they really eat is a sh*t ton of grains and beans, throw some potatoes in for good measure. All those must be processed to be digestible by humans, so it’s not stuff gorillas are going to eat. And don’t forget they eat a lot of added sugar even if it comes from “natural” sources. I don’t know if gorillas dwell where they can get honey, but gorillas certainly don’t boil maple syrup from trees or refine coconut sugar. Some gorilla species eat bugs = animals.

    Reply
  12. Trevor

    It does seem that one of the favorite arguments I run into from people who say it’s nothing more than calories in, calories out is “What about a concentration camp?” Never ceases to amaze me just how stupid people can be.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I’d suggest they try living on a concentration-camp diet for a year and see how they feel.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        With concentration camp levels of exercise in a cold climate with poor clothing and housing. I could argue that the resulting deaths would be no net loss to anyone, but being, but being polite I will not.

        Reply
      2. Elenor

        Trivia (or not:) The Nuremberg ‘court’ declared that the 1,200-cal-a-day diet was a WAR CRIME!

        Reply
  13. Walter

    There is a lot of this nonsense on the internet. Like there is only 2% difference between the genes of gorillas and humans. To use an analogy a computer programmer whose code is 98% correct will have to be fired or promoted to management. I remember a space probe to Venus that was destroyed because a period (“.”) or was it a hyphen was left out.

    https://www.edn.com/electronics-blogs/edn-moments/4418667/Mariner-1-destroyed-due-to-code-error–July-22–1962

    A comparison of chimp and gorilla diets.
    http://www.berggorilla.org/en/gorillas/general/everyday-life/what-do-gorillas-eat

    Although gorillas don’t kill big animals, they regularly eat small animals (mainly insects). However, this constitutes far less than 0.1% of their food. In chimpanzees, up to 6% of the food may be animal matter.

    There was a concious choice to use gorillas rather than chimps or bonobos.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Of course there was. Any nutrition scientist with half a brain knows our digestive systems aren’t like a gorilla’s.

      Reply
      1. KidPsych

        Maybe WIllett and this guy can put their half brains together to make a complete one. This one, believe it or not, makes even less sense than Willett’s.

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-5699099/What-does-ape-poop-tell-health-Gut-bacteria-suggests-deficient-fibre.html

        FTL: The faeces of apes suggests humans are deficient in fibre, new research has revealed.

        A lack of fibre during certain periods of the year causes apes to produce more of a specific bacteria that breaks down the protective mucous layer in their guts, a study found.

        Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          Good grief. Maybe I’ll just study the poop my dogs produce and conclude I need to eat more raw meat.

          Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I think a lot of these vegetarians zealots know eating meat gave us our big brains, but are still convinced it also kills us at an earlier age. Doesn’t make sense, but that seems to be what they believe.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        I’ll pass on the long life as a gorilla. No music, no mathematics, no books, no tools and no art.

        Reply
          1. Walter

            I eschew all day chewing and the end results.

            And the family life of the gorilla, sex is 30 seconds the male has a 1 1/2 inch penis and keeps a harem who must submit to him. When another bully takes over the women, he eats the woman’s young offspring and impregnates them. And they are the lowest encephalition quotient of the primates.

            An inspired choice for a model for humans. Apparently the good doctor has studied well his Orwell and Goebbels.

            Reply
  14. Smithy

    Gorillas have also been known to eat a baby, especially male gorillas who take over a tribe and don’t want the previous alpha male’s offspring around.

    Reply
      1. Walter

        But evolutionary logic demands it. It speeds up the mother’s receptivity to breeding. It’s not primatologists think a conscious or reasoned decision, but males who do it leave more get.

        This also happens in lions amongst others.

        Evolution is not only smarter than you are; its smarter than the whole human race.

        Reply
    1. Walter

      That’s a baby gorilla which is OK because that’s what animals do. If it were a human baby, their is nothing specific in the Vegan Ethos against that either.

      Reply
  15. Elenor

    And a mighty mighty handsome gorilla you make!! Have you auditioned yet for the next King Kong movie? Maybe this time, he’ll win!

    Reply
    1. Dianne

      At first I thought Tom had posted a picture of the missing link, but then I read the post and realized my mistake.

      Reply
  16. Walter

    What kinds of jokes does a 400 pound gorilla tell to make the house break into hysterical laughter?

    Any ones he wants!

    Reply
  17. Walter

    This is IMAO a very good video to show Vegans and other dietary ignorami.

    Barry Groves: Homo Carnivorus What We Are Designed to Eat

    Reply
  18. Curtis

    Oh while I am here, has fathead movie sales picked up any Tom? Article on townhall.com talking about a guy who just had his 30,000 big mac and they talked about you and added your movie trailer.:)

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      We still ship some DVDs every week, but I believe most people who see it these days watch on Amazon or similar services. Those quarterly checks keep coming in, which means people are watching.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        I am happy you are getting paid for that good work. Makes you feel much better about the trauma of making it out and the period of getting ripped off.

        It also means that we are more likely to see future works. Saving lives is great, but somehow cash does help the motivation.

        On an unrelated note I saw a book titled _No Grains, No Pain_ the thesis is that grains (and potatoes) are the source of all chronic pain. Over the top, of course, but cutting the grains should be tried.

        Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          Yeah, those couple of years of carrying a debt load from the post-production costs were painful. After the food folks at Gravitas took over distribution, we finally made back all the costs and went on to make a nice profit, which grows every quarter.

          We know Gravitas won’t rip us off, but I nonetheless decided not to rack up post-production costs this time, which is why it’s taken me so long to finish the Fat Head Kids film. With the awesome tools available in the Adobe production suite, I can do all the sound mixing and color correcting and other post work myself. So I’m doing it. I want the first check we receive to be profit.

          Reply
          1. Walter

            Certainly you can’t count as profit until you’ve accounted for your labor and your wife’s of course. Be while, I think.

            Reply
            1. Tom Naughton Post author

              Well, yeah, I’d hate to consider what it would take to work out to a decent hourly wage. But I put a ton of labor on Fat Head, plus rather a lot of money. Unless someone robs me, it will be a better financial deal this time.

              Reply
              1. Dianne

                I hope the fact that you have helped a lot of people live healthier, happier, saner lives is some compensation.

                Reply
                1. Tom Naughton Post author

                  Of course it is. When I made Fat Head, I never expected the many, many emails I’ve received over the years. They’ve meant a lot to me.

                  Reply
                  1. Walter

                    This dichotomy was expressed in two Beatle songs.
                    “I Don’t Care too Much for Money.” VS “Money” (That’s what I want.)

                    All remotely mentally healthy people are on the horns of this dilemma.

                    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Holy crap. Just when I think the wacky left can’t get any wackier, they prove me wrong.

      Reply
    2. Walter

      Would it satisfy them if men started nursing babies. I heard it possible with hormone treatments and it’s completely unnatural, so they should like it.

      Reply
  19. JR62

    “The reason those other large studies didn’t find a longevity benefit for vegetarians is that the benefits were vastly underestimated! Those silly scientists just didn’t see what was right in front of them.”

    They need to learn “Newspeak” like in Orwell’s 1984. “War is peace”. “Veganism is healthy” Education has already started.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Well, even if they’re truly total vegans, it has zip to do with what humans should eat.

      Reply
      1. Walter

        But it’s a talking point against advocates of the Gorilla Diet. I’d bet that all primates eat meat and it’s a valued part of the diet. In many species males that have it effectively trade meat for sex.

        It has come to mind that a species of monkey that was thought to be Vegan needed meat to reproduce.

        Reply
    1. Firebird7478

      It’s an amino acid that helps with sleep, nervousness and anxiety. I’ve use them in the past at bed time but found them to leave a hangover effect.

      Reply
  20. Walter

    Actually to match the _EFFECTIVE_ gorilla diet, humans would have to consume about 1400 calories of MCT oil daily (assuming a 2000 calorie a day diet, because gorillas get 2/3 of their calories from fermentation of plant fiber and humans get practically nothing.

    I leave it to the reader to contemplate the results of this.

    Reply
      1. Walter

        That most if not all mammals get over 60% of their calories from fat including our closest relatives should put paid to the low fat diets. I seem to remember that some mammals with special adaptations can get much of their needs from fruit. Humans however don’t have those special adaptations.

        Clearly if the gorilla gets 2/3 of its calories from fat, then so should we.

        Reply
              1. Walter

                The original formula without the added sugar. This has the great “advantage” of killing libido to increase this effect I recommend soy milk, if you can find it without sugar.

                Reply
                1. chris c

                  Ah but the sugar increases the risk of diabetes and the ensuing neuropathy and arterial damage. That will help for sure.

                  Reply
  21. Morten

    For 8 months of the year gorillas get about 30 per cent of their calories from protein. The rest of the year when fruits are available, 19 per cent comes from protein. That is an average of 26 per cent and the male gorillas eat about 8000 kcal a day and about 500 grams or 17,5 ounces of protein.

    Reply
  22. Brandon

    And to think how much criticism keto/paleo diets get for being difficult to adhere to? Granted many people find low carb diets restrictive, this pales in comparison to a 63-serving fruit and veggies diet. I wonder how many sentences in the discussion section of this paper were devoted to the restrictive nature of the diet and the limitations of practicality. Or, put differently, the reality that even if (a big if, obviously) this was a good diet to follow, literally no one would be willing or able to do it long-term. I

    Reply
  23. Walter

    The gorilla diet is out because they are a protected species or should be. Vegans on the other hand, we have in abundance. But they eat too many grains and sugars to be healthy food.

    Reply
  24. Thomas Harper

    Its only a matter of time before we all realize the truth and start referring to kale as “the silent killer”.

    But seriously though, these “meat kills you” studies have a particular flaw. For decades, without good evidence, doctors have been telling people to stop eating meat and fat. The folks that still eat them aren’t very good about following doctors advice (good in some regards) and don’t care as much about their health, because they aren’t listening to other things like don’t smoke, don’t drink too much alcohol and exercise more.

    On the whole, those that eat red meat, bacon and so forth also smoke more, drink more and exercise less while leaning more towards the obese end of the spectrum. Study operators claim to neutralize those aspects. Can someone point me out to the time we figured out what causes cancer to the extent that we can eliminate its influence in a scientific study?

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      That’s why it’s nearly impossible to draw solid conclusions from observational studies.

      Reply

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