What A Nutter… er, Nutritionist Eats

      166 Comments on What A Nutter… er, Nutritionist Eats

If you’re trying to eat right, then following the diet of a nutritionist is probably a good start.

That may be the scariest first sentence I’ve ever read in a health and fitness article. It ranks up there with we’re from the government, and we’re here to help.

After seeing countless nutritionists quoted in online health articles over the years, I’ve reached the conclusion that every time a nutritionist leaves a room, the average IQ goes up by several points. (To be fair to nutritionists, that’s not always true. Sometimes the room is full of stupid people.  Or government officials who are there to help.)

Anyway, that scary first sentence is from a Business Insider online article titled A nutritionist shares pictures of everything she eats in a day.  I suppose the pictures would be useful for people who want to follow the nutritionist’s advice but are intimidated by reading. For those who don’t mind reading, the nutritionist provided commentary to go along with the pictures. Let’s take a look at what she has to say.

I am thirsty when I wake up, so I start the day with a combo juice of calcium-fortified orange juice and 100% cranberry juice.

I’ve found water helps with that thirst problem.

I dilute it with water, otherwise it’s too sweet. I love the sweet/sour taste, besides all the vitamin C, potassium, folic acid, calcium, and diuretic benefits from the cranberry juice.

Personally, I’ve never had problems peeing in the morning, so the diuretic benefit doesn’t appeal to me. The sweet portion of that sweet/sour taste, of course, comes from the sugar in the orange juice.

On the way to work, around 8:30 a.m., almost every day I eat oatmeal with unsalted peanuts and cinnamon in the car.

Um … uh …. you eat your oatmeal in the car? Almost every day?

Well, that’s just a fabulous idea. The world needs more distracted drivers. While you’re eating your oatmeal (and feeling like you have to pee from those diuretic benefits), perhaps you could send a few texts and apply some eyeliner.

When I get to the office, I make a big mug of decaf mocha-latte coffee and go over my emails. I love them! I use instant decaffeinated coffee with a teaspoon of 100% cacao (natural unsweetened cocoa) topped with a generous amount of 1% milk. The non-alkalized cocoa powder provides heart-healthy flavanols, which may be otherwise processed out in dark chocolate. I drink three to four of these big mugs throughout the day and night to stay hydrated and get a source of calcium.

Again, I’m reasonably sure water would help with the hydration.

I need a mid-morning snack, so around 11 a.m. I eat one-third to one-half of a bar of my favorite chocolate-chip cookie-dough Quest bar.

You need a mid-morning snack? After that power breakfast of orange juice, cranberry juice, oatmeal, a few peanuts and some 1% milk? Well, I am shocked.

I get hungry between 12 p.m. and 1 p.m. and eat lunch consisting of plain Greek yogurt with fruit, nuts, and Fiber One cereal for added fiber.

You get hungry again an hour after your mid-morning snack? I must be doing something wrong. I ate breakfast around 8:30 this morning and wasn’t hungry again until dinner.

I was hungry again at 2 p.m. and made my own microwave popcorn with olive oil.

You were hungry again two hours after lunch?!  Let’s see … fruit, cereal, non-fat yogurt … aren’t those the kinds of foods promoted by the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act? I’m starting to think these (ahem) healthy foods aren’t so effective at quelling hunger.

I love popcorn and have to measure it out or I eat too much.

Yeah, that’s why I have to measure out my bacon in the morning. You know how it is: you start eating bacon, next thing you know you’ve finished the whole package.  Then you go see a therapist to ask why.

Around 4 p.m. I was feeling stressed but not hungry, so I chewed my favorite peppermint gum. The more stressed I am, the more pieces of gum I chew at a time. Up to four pieces!

Geez, I don’t know how anyone could feel stressed after fueling up on orange juice, cranberry juice, oatmeal, a few peanuts, half a protein bar, non-fat yogurt, fruit and Fiber One cereal. Those sound like perfect brain-calming foods to me. Congratulations on going two hours without feeling hungry, though.

I got home early around 5 p.m. and was tired and hungry, so I ate a handful of peanut M&Ms for a chocolate, sugar energy boost. Since I am sensitive to caffeine, chocolate is the only caffeine I need and is usually included in my daily diet.

I don’t know how anyone could feel tired and hungry after fueling up on orange juice, cranberry juice, oatmeal, a few peanuts, half a protein bar, non-fat yogurt, fruit, Fiber One cereal, and some carefully-measured microwave popcorn. Must be something genetic. Good thing chocolate is included in your daily diet. That sugar energy boost sounds like a godsend.

My husband wasn’t around, so I had leftover Indian food for dinner around 6:30 p.m. I love Indian food and created this dish the night before: curry chicken, onions, apples, raisins, and coconut with garlic naan.

Careful there, lady. If you accidentally skip the raisins and garlic flat-bread, you’ll end up eating something resembling a decent meal.

On the way to my 8:30 p.m. yoga class, I bring a big bottle of iced water. When I get home, I like to drink flavored sparkling water around 9:45 p.m. to 10 p.m. while watching TV.

I drink sparkling water at night too … although I pee it out in the morning without the diuretic benefits of cranberry juice.

The nutritionist didn’t list her portion sizes, but I can make a pretty good guess from the pictures. So entered her day’s dietary choices into Excel and added calories, carbs, protein, etc., by looking them up in online databases. If I’m in the ballpark (and I’m pretty sure I am), the nutritionist consumed right around 2,000 calories, including 100 grams of protein and 250 carbohydrates. Half the carbs – 125 – were from sugar.

As a point of reference, if you drank three 12-ounce cans of Coca-Cola, you’d ingest 117 grams of sugar.

If you’re trying to eat right, then following the diet of a nutritionist is probably a good start.

I may yell that at any trick-or-treaters who show up on my doorstep. If they’re smart, they’ll scream and run away.

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166 thoughts on “What A Nutter… er, Nutritionist Eats

  1. Jean

    Perhaps we should all post what we eat in a day:
    67 yr old female, 5’4″ 138lbs
    Breakfast – 1 egg with spinach and butter, 2 cups of tea with milk
    Snack – coffee with heavy cream
    Lunch – home made leek and potato soup using bone broth and beef stock, 2 cups of tea with milk
    Snack – coffee with heavy cream
    Dinner – stir fried beef and vegetables, damsons and Greek yogurt, 2 cups of tea with milk
    Supper – slice of cheese with butter
    This is a typical day and I don’t get hungry!
    (Tom, feel free to ditch this if it doesn’t seem like a good idea)

    Reply
  2. David

    This is hilariously written, yet it is a shame that we have nutritionists promoting processed and sugar-laded “food bars” and “meal replacements”. It’s sad that our leading factor of death in the US is caused by heart-disease; a huge portion of that attributed to our SAD diet of wheat, sugar and anything made by a cartoon mascot.

    Reply
  3. Joe

    Eat my way and you can feel tire and hungry all the time too! This kind of stuff drives me crazy. My turn:
    Breakfast – black coffee and not tired or hungry.
    Lunch – Ate a really big meal last night so not hungry. Not tired either…weird.
    3:30 – Had a zevia soda and a salad…homemade ranch dressing made with high oleic oil and lots of it. Not hungry anymore.
    4:00- felt a little tired
    4:15 – What do you know? Not tired anymore!

    Have things to do today so probably won’t eat again until 9:30 or so. I sure hope I’m not ravishingly hungry and incredibly tired.

    Reply
    1. goodbyeana

      I find it alarming that you are bragging about eating less in a day than I ate when I had anorexia. D:

      The reason the nutritionist feels hunger, is because hunger is NORMAL. Now admittedly it appears she tries to restrict her food intake by using portion control, which probably leaves her feeling more tired than she otherwise would.

      Calories are not irrelevant. If you are not eating enough calories to sustain yourself, and you also have a concerning lack of hunger cues, chances are you are on the restrictive eating disorder spectrum and your body is cannibalizing itself to keep you alive.

      Reply
        1. Walter

          Normal on a high carb nearly Vegan® diet. Good Grief, her diet was lower carb than recommended IIRC 300 grams is the recommended quantity.

          Reply
  4. Bob Geary

    Oh man, that brought back memories of the six months I spent on Weight Watchers a decade or so ago. (I understand they’ve modified their program since then, and offer a kinda-sorta-slightly-Paleo option, but back then it was very much low-fat high-carb mainstream “nutrition” “science.”)

    I lost ~40 lbs. in those six months eating pretty much like that nutritionist – but I was hungry ALL THE TIME, and climbing a flight of stairs made me feel like I was going to die, and I had what felt like a minor cold for eight or nine weeks, and EVERY time I got up from the couch quickly I’d get a nearly-blacking-out “head rush.”

    Screw that – I’d rather be fat than feel like that again.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      That’s why I roll my eyes when researchers declare that people can lose weight on any diet if they just stick with it. That’s a huge “if.” We’re not geared to tolerate going through life hungry and miserable.

      Reply
  5. Bob Geary

    Tom, I just read the linked article, and I have to say, you’ve GROSSLY misrepresented what this nutritionist eats, by leaving out this key quote:

    “I also had a giant handful of baby carrots.”

    The “giant handful” pictured seems to be ~9 sickly-looking carrot pieces – so that’s an additional 36 calories right there that you didn’t factor in.

    🙂

    Reply
    1. pam

      her “giant” plate of yogurt & vegetables is pretty small too.
      (i also wonder how her teeth are doing. although they seem fine)

      Reply
      1. Walter Bushell

        Besides if you tell people to not eat the soda or fries or half the bun of the burger — MacDonalds would certainly not want you.

        Still MacDs food is better than hospital food.

        Reply
  6. Chad

    Love the article. Agreed, that lady is eating way to much too hahaha.

    All I had yesterday (ate only when I was hungry)

    Lunch: Homemade tuna salad

    Dinner: Pork Chops with green beans and salad

    I didnt even really want dinner but once I started smelling it, yum! Anyway, Im 5’11 and 200lbs. These people are ravenous eaters!

    Reply
  7. JillOz

    Tom, this is off topic so please remove this if it’s not appropriate, but I do want to ask you to deal with a particular topic if you could,

    How To Deal with Patronising, Arrogant Practitioners – doctors, dentists, etc – who not only upset clients but do damage but treat you like dirt and when you respond appropriately act like delicate flowers.

    I have to go to various medical/dental etc appointments and as an asthmatic it can be very difficult. (If I have an attack I reschedule but it’s still stressful). I am meeting more and more of these and they are stressing me out in an already stressful medical life.

    Tips, techniques, advice, gratefully appreciated.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I heard a doctor on one of Jimmy’s shows explain how to deal with doctors: smile and nod. Then ignore the advice you know is wrong. Challenging a doctor’s advice messes with his or her God complex, and the results are rarely positive.

      Reply
      1. Bob Niland

        re: … how to deal with doctors: smile and nod.

        For the more adventurous, you can also ask:
        “Are you willing to be mistaken about {insert topic}?”

        The response can be quite revealing (often including not fully comprehending the question).

        Note: Use this interrogatory verbatim. In particular do not substitute “wrong”, or even “incorrect” for “mistaken”.

        Reply
  8. ZitOnYourButt

    Still waiting to see how you will refute the study about processed meats and cancer. Should be good for a chuckle. Reminds me of when smokers try to deny that tobacco causes cancer. But then again, you don’t believe smoking is bad for you. It’s all a leftist, government plot, eh Tom?

    Oh and it’s really cute how you change my username to Pimple on my butt. Very mature.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I’ve already explained why I change your moniker: you flatter yourself by suggesting you’re a thorn in my side. To be a thorn in my side, you’d have to actually write something challenging once in awhile. But you don’t. You post the same old tripe over and over, and it’s not challenging at all.

      There’s nothing new in the WHO announcement. It’s based on the same old observational-study garbage, and I’ve already refuted it — several times, in fact:

      http://www.fathead-movie.com/index.php/2013/01/31/the-latest-meat-kills-study/

      http://www.fathead-movie.com/index.php/2015/04/02/studies-conclude-that-meat-will-kill-you-and-save-your-life/

      http://www.fathead-movie.com/index.php/2011/05/26/the-lastest-meat-causes-cancer-bologna/

      http://www.fathead-movie.com/index.php/2012/01/16/pancreatic-cancer-processed-meat-and-a-load-of-bologna/

      Now go away, you empty-headed animal foot-trough water, or I shall taunt you a second time.

      Reply
  9. Ty

    While I agree that this nutritionist’s diet is so laughable as to make me think it was a carbohydrate addled troll, I don’t understand what your problem is with steel-cut oatmeal. That is a complex carbohydrate, yet you treat all carbs like they were refined sugar. I do agree that refined sugar is the root of all nutritional evil, and that almost all commercial fruit juices are pure junk food. But steel cut oats are a fantastic source of energy. I load ’em up with almonds, cranberries, cashews, some wheat germ, and 2% milk. Keeps me full and satisfied until noon, and I start my day at 5AM. I don’t care for the taste of whole milk, it’s just too heavy, and despite what you think of fat, it simply is NOT healthy.

    Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          Utter nonsense. Try comparing that with studies showing that kids who drink whole milk are less likely to be overweight than their peers who drink skim milk.

          We drank nothing but whole milk when I was kid in the 1960s, and we had maybe one fat kid per class.

          Reply
      1. Ty

        “Dietary fat during childhood may be more life-threatening than was originally suspected… Overweight children are usually the victims of the dietary habits of the adult members of the family…Reducing dietary fat to levels necessary to the control of cholesterol cannot be achieved if a child drinks whole milk or eats cheese.”

        Charles Attwood, M.D., “Dr. Attwood’s Low-Fat Prescription for Kids”

        Reply
        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          The low-fat prescription for kids is exactly what got us into this mess. How many fat, diabetic kids were there back when all kids drank whole milk and eggs and cheese were considered health foods? The pronouncements of a few idiot doctors don’t change the facts.

          Reply
    1. Firebird

      Complex carbohydrates, no matter how complex they are, no matter how much fiber they contain…all convert to glucose in the body. Some take longer than others but the result is the same, and too much can be harmful. I know people in Hawaii who grab a sugar stalk and put the sugar in their Kono coffee…pure, unadulterated sugar, with the fibers and trace minerals still in tact…and it is still sugar and it is still bad for you.

      Reply
      1. toomanyspiders

        This is true. I am type 2 diabetic due to gestational diabetes. I wasn’t overweight, just unlucky. Anyway I have discovered- via the glucose monitor- that the “healthy” carbs are just as bad as the “unhealthy” carbs when it comes to spiking my blood sugar. One of my worst numbers (close to 300) came after eating a “healthy” lunch of brown rice and kidney beans.

        This really surprised me- and unless I’m some weird anomaly, this means most of the nutrition advice given to diabetics in outright dangerous and false.

        Reply
        1. Walter Bushell

          Oh, that’s very true. The path recommended by the establishment worsens the disease which is really insulin resistance for type II diabetes. Higher and higher levels of insulin or insulin sensitizing drugs lead to increasing insulin resistance.

          Even the mainstream has to recognize that tight control of blood sugar in type II, gives worse results. Doctors don’t like to loosen control or interventions so people are still being tricked and treated that way.

          Better to treat you doctor as you would a used car
          salesman.

          Reply
    2. Galina L.

      Still cut oats get converted into a blood sugar too quickly for many people. I convinced my mom to avoid it after measuring her pp blood sugar levels several times after a presumably healthy still cut oats breakfast, it was astonishingly high. It was recently found that oats and other high-carbs foods were unhealthy even for horses, causing a grains-associated cluster of inflammatory disorders.

      Reply
  10. Lisa

    Glaring omission: green anything.

    Good thing one of your commenters mentioned the carrots, or there wouldn’t have been a single vegetable eaten the whole day. Who needs real food?

    Sounds like this nutritionist went through the same program as American pharmacology students…oops, I meant doctors.

    Reply
  11. Michael Steadman

    Thanks for the response to the latest WHO nonsense; I correctly assumed you would refer to your previous “meat kills” posts which address this latest garbage. I have read where others have responded to the WHO paper by saying it’s irresponsible and the famous, “all things in moderation” but I haven’t seen anyone contest the math of the studies, or the methodology, which is where the real weaknesses are; well, and the inherent anti-meat bias!

    Reply
  12. Ella roo

    Wow, you (the blogger) are nasty. Period. I suppose in this era of media culture, snarkiness and sarcasm is considered cool and hip and well, people read your blog. Sarcasm is just anger in disguise. You can disagree with someone without being so irritable all the time. You provide good information; I suppose you think you need to be “entertaining” as well.

    What a world.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      If my anger was disguised, I apologize. When nutritionists hand out this kind of garbage advice, I intend for the anger to be obvious.

      Reply
      1. Walter Bushell

        Well her advice is killing people. On the Gripping Hand[1], we have too many people and we need to have the race culled for stupidity.

        The weapon hand of the Warrior caste or subspecies in _The Mote in God’s Eye_.

        Reply
  13. T. Knew

    I hate to sound like the jerk here, but am I the only one looking at this nutritionist like “She’s a picture of health?” Well, there goes some more of that snarky sarcasm folks like zit and Ella talking about.

    Reply
    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Yes, you are the only one looking at her like she’s the picture of health. Hungry every two hours? Hungry and tired after work? That’s a healthy person in your mind?

      Reply

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