The USDA’s Next Grand Plan

      127 Comments on The USDA’s Next Grand Plan

Head.  Bang.  On.  Desk.

Thought I’d go ahead and get that out of the way before proceeding.  You may want to do likewise.  Go ahead and bang your head on your desk (or any nearby hard surface if you’re reading this on a tablet) while you’re calm and can control the momentum.

Okay, good.

Now, let me begin this post by quickly reviewing how The Anointed react when one of their Grand Plans fails:  they never, ever blame the plan.  The plan was, of course, brilliant and should have worked … after all, it was designed by The Anointed.  So if the plan fails, it can only mean that:

  • People didn’t implement the plan correctly because they’re stupid
  • People undermined the plan because they’re evil
  • The plan didn’t go far enough

The USDA’s Grand Plan to improve the nation’s health by telling us what to eat began with the Food Pyramid – you know, base your diet on 6-11 servings per day of grains, cut way back on fats, switch to vegetable oils, etc.  Strangely, the launching of the Grand Plan coincided with a decades-long rise in rates of obesity and diabetes.  So the USDA reached the only logical conclusion:  the Food Pyramid must be too complicated.  In other words, people didn’t follow it correctly because they’re stupid.

So the USDA took pretty much exactly the same dietary advice and repackaged it as MyPlate.  Much simpler, you see, because it’s shaped like a plate.  All the stupid people have to do is put grains on the brown section of the plate marked “grains,” vegetables on the green section marked “vegetables,” etc.

The “protein” section of MyPlate is purple, which I admit might be a problem.  Stupid people could end up wandering all over the store looking for purple foods, then end up eating unpeeled eggplants for protein.  In fact, the USDA appears to have zeroed in on grocery-shopping as the weak link in the whole plan.  After all, how are you supposed to properly fill all the sections of your MyPlate at home if you didn’t buy the correct foods in the first place?

Never fear … The Anointed at the USDA have a new plan to help the stupid people fill their shopping carts with MyPlate-approved foods.  Here are some quotes from an article in the U.K. Daily Mail:

Talking shopping carts, free movie tickets and supermarket cooking classes are just a few of the latest recommendations the government is proposing to trim America’s waistband.

The new proposals were detailed in an 80-page report released this month by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and is focused on the 42 million Americans receiving food stamps.

The problem isn’t that 42 million Americans are receiving food stamps, you see.  Nope, the problem is that they’re buying the wrong foods.  So we need talking shopping carts to tell them what to buy while they’re buying.  Can’t trust them to remember all that good USDA advice once they get past the greeter in the big-box store.

The new recommendations are designed to reward healthy eating and change supermarket layouts and programs to highlight more nutritional foods.

A shopping cart telling you what to buy and a reward if you comply … if you didn’t already believe The Anointed in government view people who don’t follow their advice as ignorant children, this should convince you.

‘Most Americans, including Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) participants, do not purchase enough whole grains, dark green and orange vegetables, and legumes, and purchase too many items with excess calories from fats and added sugars,’ the report said.

The USDA first recommends that SNAP shoppers be rewarded for their healthy food choices with movie tickets or discounts.

And if that doesn’t work, we’ll threaten them with a spanking.

So let’s see … first we have the taxpayers pony up for food stamps, then we have them pony up for movie tickets if the people on food stamps buy foods approved by The Anointed.  Meanwhile, we’re $17 trillion in debt.  Is this a great country or what?

At least by offering bribes, The Anointed have indicated that they don’t believe everyone buying the (ahem) wrong foods is stupid.  Some of them are just mildly evil — gluttonous, undisciplined, whatever you want to call it — and are therefore willing to buy vegetables and whole grains if there’s a reward in it.  So let’s give them free tickets to a movie theater.  It’s not as if they’d buy a big tub of popcorn and a Coke or anything.

These so-called ‘MyCarts’ will be color-coded and physically divided by differently healthy food groups and notify when the shopper has enough to qualify for a reward.

‘You achieved a MyCart healthy shopping basket!’ it will say.

Well, that is inspiring.  Perhaps the cart can also print out little smiley-face stickers for the shoppers to stick on their report cards.

Other recommendations detailed in the report cooking classes held in grocery stores and employees who would act as ‘ambassadors’ to explain the different rewards programs.

‘In this role, floor staff has the ability to re-direct consumer purchase towards more healthful choices by explaining the incentive or the nutrition labeling system,’ the report said.

I see.  So if an electronic nanny doesn’t convince people to buy more whole grains, we’ll go with the human touch.

The USDA hopes to implement these programs in order to ‘change the choice architecture of the food retail environment’.

Allow me to interpret that:  The Anointed don’t like the choices people are making, so now they’re considering a big, stupid, expensive program to change the “choice architecture.”

How expensive?  Glad you asked.  Here’s the headline for article:

Will grocery stores be forced to install $30,000 talking carts that help shoppers make better food choices?

Forced?  Nawww, The Anointed would never use force to implement a new “choice architecture.”  All those Americans over age 50 who are now buying expensive insurance policies that cover infertility and maternity really wanted that extra coverage.

The headline gives the impression that the MyCart carts would cost $30,000 each.  That’s not true.  The report estimates that as the average cost to each grocery store.  (And we all know how accurate government cost estimates are.)  I know that because I read some of the USDA report.  I read some of the USDA report because this Grand Plan is so absurd – even for The Anointed – I thought the article must be a joke.

Nope.  It’s real.  Like I’ve said before, it’s difficult to separate comedy from reality when The Anointed in government start cooking up Grand Plans.

Now if you’ll excuse me, one head-bang on my desk wasn’t enough.


127 thoughts on “The USDA’s Next Grand Plan

  1. Stefan

    I wonder if the MyCart cart will also have a colour coded section where you should place your USDA approved helmet for the head-banging on desk…

  2. MikeW

    Maybe I’m insanely optimistic, but I’m sure this ridiculous proposal will be greeted with a hearty laugh by the first sensible federal employee who sees it (I’m convinced there are sensible govt employees). It will be put up on the shelf somewhere, along with the other absurd recommendations produced by brainstorming teams that aren’t allowed to shout down dumb ideas.

    I’m more irritated that my tax dollars paid for such hokum. Looking up the USDA contract i.d. in, I see the consulting company that produced the report was paid $401,000 for their trouble. I want my money back! (and to authors Erika, Nicola, Reid, Allison, Karen, Stephanie, and Sean: the smart shopping cart was a joke, right? right?)

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Good grief. And here I am, charging nowhere near $401,000 to produce software people actually want and use. I chose the wrong mortage-paying career. Hell, I can come up with a dozen stupid ideas in a day, no problem.

    2. Bret

      It will be put up on the shelf somewhere, along with the other absurd recommendations produced by brainstorming teams that aren’t allowed to shout down dumb ideas.

      I’d love to believe that, Mike. But I’m going to restrict myself to cautious optimism. People can do some pretty amazing(ly stupid) things when their employers tell them to.

      The Waco blood bath, the My Lai massacre, SWAT teams throwing a flash grenade into a nursery, Medicare — all come to mind as some poignant examples in government.

      1. Trevor


        There are plenty. Some agencies, departments, and offices consist almost entirely of them.

        They are just outnumbered, and are often not promoted because they tend to make a stink when they encounter stupidity. The Federal government is growing (and so are local and state governments), and the bigger they get, the more idiots will need to be hired to fill jobs that don’t need to be done.

        Just my opinion, but it’s based on personal experience.


        1. Bret


          I understand completely. I speak from personal experience as well. While there are no doubt plenty of smart, sane, grounded, decent people working in government, the career incentives, as you mentioned, tend not to reward personal traits of that nature. So I tend to be cynical, if not often outright hostile, towards the system at large for that very reason.

          Big government proponents (not saying you are one) might argue that the same problems exist in the corporate world, and they’re surely right. But corporations can go out of business (unless they are subsidized or enjoy monopoly protection from government, like Bank of America and Comcast, respectively). Government, on the other hand, cannot go out of business and owns a monopoly on the use of force. Two terrible traits for one entity to possess.

          1. Trevor

            Yup. You make good points and are probably wise to be skeptical of the system.

            I’ve been employed for a long time at a small rural Sheriff’s Office. It’s taken me a while to realize that just because my agency runs well and treats people well – doesn’t mean other agencies are like mine. I feel blessed to have stumbled onto a good one, but the more I read the news, the more I realize just how lucky I am. Seems the higher you go up the food chain – local to state to federal – the worse it gets.

            It also seems to me that the further the government gets from its core functions – national defense, law enforcement, stuff like that – the worse it gets. Some of the most ridiculous, comically-tyrannical behavior I’ve seen comes from people who count salmon, audit lunches at schools, and regulate party reservations at public parks. Not to mention tell us what to eat.

            I vote libertarian whenever I can.

  3. B35

    MyCarts, so now we must resort to talking color coded carts to get people to eat healthier. Someone is getting desperate. (*cough* Michelle Obama USDA *cough*)

    Oh, and I agree with you. Head. Bang. On. Desk.

    1. B35

      Oh also the USDA is handing out Myplates to kindergartners. That surely will get those overweight 5 year olds healthy and fit, won’t it?

      1. Angelyne

        Not to worry because they are either threatening or have already implemented policies to forbid full fat milk in school. Because we all know that kids are fat because of all the whole milk they drink. Why no one is pointing the finger at milk as one of the bigger factor in the obesity epidemic I don’t know. It’s probably the influence of the Diary Council suppressing this information.

        1. DebbieC.

          I was at my local supermarket not long ago where they actually do have labels on various products that can be purchased via the WIC (Women, Infants, Children) program.

          Full-fat milk was labeled as “good”, 2% milk was labeled as “better” and skim milk was labeled as “best”! Yeah, skim milk, just what growing infant and child brains need.

          My son and his wife always raise eyebrows when their son (who does adore milk) gets served low-fat milk in restaurants – they ask for half-and-half to add to it to up the fat. 🙂

          1. Tom Naughton Post author

            We’ve gotten into the habit of taking our own little tub of real butter in restaurants that serve margarine.

      2. JoanneP

        When our son came home from Kindergardten with te MyPlate we created our own version that did NOT include grains!!! It was great. Sent it to school. Te one he brought home literally had happy dancing bundles of wheat with arms & legs and eyes. Creeptastic!

  4. Jean

    The nanny state is already here in England. I went out to lunch and could only find ‘lite’ mayonnaise so I asked for full fat and was told by the (slightly overweight and very young) server that I should be watching my calories!
    I used vinegar.

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      By which I hope you mean you sprayed vinegar in her face and told her to mind her own @#$%ing business.

  5. JD

    I think most stores would opt for the upgraded model, the MyCart 5000 Deluxe Edition. With this version each time a shopper opted for whole milk instead of skim, butter instead of soybean oil, or fakon instead of bacon the cart would deliver a quick, low current shock to the nuts. Officials say it wouldn’t be painful, as it’s not meant to be a punishment. They say it’s more of a gentle reminder that your choices might not be as healthy as they can possibly be.

  6. Be

    What annoys me about this is expectation that private grocery stores will have to adapt their stores to what seven (well-paid) morons came up with after a few cocktails late one night. And of course, laws will be passed to punish those evil grocery corporations if they don’t comply – yesterday.

  7. Tammy

    Aw man this could be fun !! How much bacon can you stuff into the orange “grains” section of the cart? And what happens if you buy something that crosses the line, like say fig newtons or something? Is it a fruit? Is it a grain? Do you get credit for both – or would you have to always buy two boxes? And I don’t think all my cheese will fit into that cup holder for the dairy !!!


    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Well, I believe there’s a brand of bacon called Corn King, so that might qualify as a grain.

  8. Caroline

    Good Grief. So many ways I could comment on the sheer stupidity of this study. Free movie tickets? So they can order a bunch of snack food at the snack bar? A talking cart? Who’s going to stop the population from turning down those speakers when the voice gets annoying or better yet breaking the carts just to drown out the noise?And don’t get me started on their recommendation to “redesign the floor patterns and layout of grocery stores” And how exactly do they plan to implement that? Everyone in their right mind knows that the stores lay out their products – healthy or not- in the best way marketing wise to entice shoppers to part with their money. Why else do I have to walk a mile to the very back of the store just for milk? Please.

    Love your blog!

  9. Bruce B

    I predict that when the rewards dont work MyCart V2.0 will have electrodes to shock the stupid people when they put the “wrong” foods in the cart.

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Well, of course. When a Grand Plan fails, The Anointed consider that proof that they need to do the same thing again, only bigger.

  10. Kate

    Grocery stores are already laid out in a way to “encourage” healthy choices. Most of them are on the perimeter. The exception is the frozen section in the middle somewhere. I can’t image the store employees wanting to tell people what to buy, at least around here.

  11. Nathan

    You’re not good for my blood pressure. 😉

    You’ve just gotta laugh, or you’ll go on a bloody rampage in D.C.

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Laughing is more effective. If there’s one thing The Anointed can’t stand, it’s being ridiculed by those they consider inferior.

  12. SB

    I don’t understand how this would work. Will the carts be equipped with scanners so that the cart knows when a shopper has “mistakenly” placed a pound of bacon into the grain section of the cart? I’m imagining a cart with a color-coded cardboard divider. Will cashiers and self-scanners be trained to “Tsk tsk” a customer if they are not purchasing the recommended amount of leafy greens and orange veggies?

    1. SB

      Ok just read that section of the USDA report. I was kidding. They aren’t.
      And create an algorithm to determine whether a customer has an approved MyCart? MyGoodness. MyHead.

  13. James H.

    Liberalism has GOT to be a genetically-induced brain disease, re: Pelosi and her Hamas-is-a-humanitarian-group, Harry Reid and his Koch-brothers-cause-global-warming, and now this. Any bets this Talking Cart plan will NOT be extended to all citizens at some point? It’s even possible, as insane as it sounds, there will be mandated Health Assistants to walk you through the store, exclaiming “good for you!” when you put an approved item in your cart. (Or worse, the HAs will do your shopping for you as you meekly tag along.)

    The Annointed and their plans are a bad parody of a badly-written science fiction story.

      1. K2

        Overall, no words. Well, I do have two words: holy $hi+. Given the direction this administration has taken particularly in the last year, I am not surprise…exasperated, but not surprised. A talking shopping cart? For real? Well, no one would hear it because everyone I see in grocery stores have smart phones plastered to their heads because God forbid they are not talking to someone every moment of the day, even on the toilet paper aisle.

        The parody becoming reality is probably just part of the strategy. Just think about how many “jobs” that would create. What great campaign fodder, eh?

        One day I went to sleep in the US, and woke up in…????? This country is becoming almost unrecognizable.

        Thanks for sharing the insanity, Tom. I hadn’t seen this. Please keep fighting the good fight, speaking out, and informing us on the reality we face.


        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          More than 20 years ago, TIME magazine ran a cover story about the changing American character, warning we were becoming a nation of crybabies and busybodies. Wow, was that prophetic. It’s gotten to the point where if you don’t support forcing someone else to pay for a future laywer’s birth control pills, that’s considered waging war on her. And now this.

    1. Firebird

      Well, Pelosi never said Hamas was a humanitarian group, though they ARE the democratically elected governing body of a nation, just not the democratically elected puppet government the US wants installed there, but I digress…

      1. Jill

        Yeah, a democratically elected bunch of terrorists who never held an election after their “election” – which they seized, and brought back Sharia law and crucifixion to Gaza once they got in.
        They stole all the aid, used construction materials to build terror tunnels, trained 18000 children to be suicide bombers in the last two years, and swore long ago to eliminate Israel and the Jews, while also clearing Bethlehem of Christians and torturing homosexuals and honour killing women.
        Their thefts and “taxes” on good smuggled in through tunnels from Egypt to Gaza resulted in the Hamas leadership becoming billionaires, buying Fajr-5 missiles and drones from Iran, sacrificing children to kill Jews and now they’ve kidnapped an Israeli soldier after keeping rockets under UN schools and hospitals and booby-trapping buildings with explosives all over Gaza.

        Just peachy!!

        1. Elenor

          Geez, you really DO believe every single thing “your” govt and media tell you to believe, don’t you!? So, the govt lies, cheats, and steals when you disagree with them, but they’re spot-on honest when you agree? Is that reasonable? Should you maybe reconsider and tone down the talking points?

          “They’re takin’ babies out of incubators — we need to invade!”

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I ate that big slab of ribs from Famous Dave’s a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t gain weight, despite not spending 7 1/2 hours mowing the lawn afterwards.

      1. Bruce

        And you know that it’s the gospel truth. The CSPI handed out the awards for these fat fat fatty fat fat restaurants.

      2. Firebird

        I just spent 4 days in the Norfolk, Va. area for a youth hockey tournament. Continental breakfast of scrambled eggs and sausage/Canadian bacon, Ruby Tuesday’s, Outback and Olive Garden (I also picked up some Quest Bars at GNC while there). Plenty of water retention from the high sodium, but didn’t gain any weight, either. It actually feels like I might have lost a pound or two.

  14. Wayne Gage

    First the rewards, (movie tickets) and when that doesn’t work then the fines for not following the voluntary recommendations and when that doesn’t work then the rationing. That will work. Surely.

      1. j

        Oh theyll never fine you…thats too obvious..theyll just tax you so you wont notice the impact.. Rationing.. perhaps.. theyll just make certain items or serving sizes illegal (think NY large soda ban)

        1. Elenor

          I think this isn’t quite accurate:

          “that’s too obvious… they’ll just tax you so you won’t notice the impact”

          they’ll tax SOMEONE ELSE!

  15. BuckeyePeach

    Can’t remember where I read it, but recently saw where another really smart guy is proposing a pill that would make you nauseated if you ate meat, and eventually, you wouldn’t even need the medication. He also thinks people should be bred to be much smaller so as to take up less room and use fewer resources. I’m sure he got taxpayer money to come up with these great ideas.

    1. Elenor

      “a pill that would make you nauseated if you ate meat,”

      Yeah, they did that for alcoholics when I was in the Navy back in the late 70’s… For a few alkies, it worked, lots of other found out pretty quickly that if you drank a lot, and drank through the nausea, it stopped working and you could resume ‘normal’ drinking (too much). (Just like those misled pathetic bariatric surgery patients who discover that you CAN overrule (overeat?) the surgery, and gain it all back again…)

  16. Linda

    I, too started reading the actual government report about all of this stupidity, and came to the section where they laid out the proposed cost of all this stupidity. If you don’t already have a concussion, just trying to imagine the money the Anointed will spend on this will do it in a hurry. Have a read from the actual report:

    “ICF International Contract Number: AG-3198-D-12-0070 24
    Approaches for Promoting Healthy Food Purchases by SNAP Participants
    Altering systems to process the rebate would re
    quire the coordination of
    stakeholders that
    include USDA, State agencies, and companies cont
    racted through each State to administer EBT,
    retailers, and third-part
    y processors (TPPs) that are contracted by retailers to process EBT
    payments. For the EBT rebate to operate effect
    ively, informational and financial systems would
    need to be updated to
    identify the targeted
    foods and distribute the
    benefit on the EBT card. For
    the incentive to be delivered, e
    ach of these parties also woul
    d need to update its technology
    systems. ”

    Can you just imagine the millions of SNAP recipients who get their cards screwed up because of brilliant government hired programmers who somehow didn’t get the rebate process right? So, not only can they not buy healthy food, but now, they can’t buy any till the government spends more money to fix the program. And of course, they’ll need to be patient for several months while this happens!

    Now, for the rest of us, can you just imagine what the cost of groceries will be then? This is all so ridiculous, it just might happen! Pardon me, I have to go plant some more stuff in my garden!!

  17. Firebird

    Free movies tickets…and all the Goobers, Raisinettes and nachos w/cheese you can choke back, all washed down with a 64 oz. Coke.

  18. Rae Ford

    How long before the government passes a law that the only food we can buy are MRE style meals with their approved portions and that the government is the only entity we can buy it from?

  19. Leon

    Silver lining: Get Fat Head running in cinemas, and the compliant SNAP shoppers will get some much needed edutainment out of those movies tickets.

  20. LuckyMama

    My blood pressure was okay until I read this post. The government is a senseless, one-eyed beast with no sense.

    There really are no words for the stupidity of these recommendations. I can barely wait for the 2015 Dietary Guidelines.

  21. matt

    what if the shoppers use the cart to get the points and then just don’t but the food? IE: they walk around the store with the “talking cart” fill it with the “good” foods until they get their prize then leave the cart- full of food by the way- at the door and go to another store and buy the cheaper unhealthy food at another store, or better yet go store hopping to rack up points not buying food at any of them?

  22. JanC

    I don’t think this plan is going to work in the UK. Our supermarkets are often smaller, so it could get very confusing when several carts are gathered together jostling to squeeze though a small space with everyone’s cart yelling ‘Grains! Great choice!’ or ‘Meat? Do you want to change that for beans?’ Over the top of all that, the muzak will have to be turned up to full volume so that shoppers can enjoy their relaxing shopping experience listening to Grocer Jack, Showawaddywaddy and assorted Beatles hits. The result will mean that mums who meet other mums and have a little chat in the store will need loud hailers to carry out a decent conversation.

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      That sounds like enough to make me ship the shopping and go to McDonald’s for dinner.

  23. The Older Brother

    I can’t wait to see my first urban camper (homeless dude) pushing a $30,000 “sidewalk RV” full of his belongings down the street while it’s screaming at the top of its microchips — “Help! Call the USDA – I’m being kidnapped!”

    Piggly Wiggly will need armed guards in the parking lots.


  24. Stephen

    Why does the USDA even think they have to get involved with advising people how to eat? No one listens anyway, and no one would follow a color-coded plate. People eat what they want to eat, and live with the consequences. The problem is, there aren’t really that many consequences of obesity when you just lie on the couch watching tv.

    When you have to move your own body weight all over town, you’ll lose weight. I can feel every kilo lost when I’m racing up the 2km 5% grade on 5th Ave:

    1. Wayne Gage

      Stephen, studies show that exercise and moving does not aid weight loss to any purposeful degree…people are more active after they lose weight.

        1. Tom Naughton Post author

          Heh-heh … moving is good for your health, so keep moving. But the research is clear on that issue: exercise has little effect on weight loss. I didn’t want to believe it myself, but the research was convincing.

          1. Stephen

            I definitely eat a lot more after working out. I’d be much better off riding for 4 hours at a recreational pace, than doing a high-intensity workout. On a lot of rides, I eat over 1200 calories. If I just ride for fun, I don’t eat anything.

            I just can’t help myself. It’s too much fun out there 🙂

    2. Jill

      Because it’s part of the UN plan to get people off meat so they die sooner so the New World Govt as implemented by the UN and its implementation arm ICLEI – which most local councils signed up to worldwide – can control you and your property and keep all the good stuff.

      Just google Rosa Koire UN Agenda 21 to start with.

      You don’t think the UN people and their allies will live like this do you?
      Like Michelle Obama and schoolkids – her kids get the best real food, the US taxpayer gets culinary dross.

  25. scott

    It could be worse they could put grape jelly beans or jolly ranchers on their plate instead of egg plant, especially since the anointed believe they are that stupid.

  26. Bernardo

    The fact that they spent millions just to come up with an idea like that should be motive for a criminal investigation. That’s what I always say, the worst kind of corruption is the one that is made legally and oficially, for allt o see. It’s just a way to fund the egos and lifestyles of incompetent people.

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      I agree, but first let’s go after the people who spent nearly a billion dollars on a federal website that has no security and doesn’t work very well.

  27. Dave

    Would I get to keep the Talking Shopping Cart, Tom? ‘Cuz I could really use a talking cart, especially one that cares so much about me.

    DAVE: (Pushing TSC around home) “…and this is the den, TSC. We’re changing the wallpaper. It’s a bit flowery. We’d prefer something that makes the upholstery pop.”
    TSC: (Sniffs derisively) “Yes. Well, tastes differ, I suppose. It’s a matter of refinement.”
    DAVE: “Aaaand THIS is the food pantry, where you’ll be staying!”
    TSC: (Cart locks its wheels) “You’re not serious? What is all that on the shelves?”
    DAVE: “Uh, it’s food.”
    TSC: “Not where I come from. Or was manufactured. Why isn’t that pasta there more whole grainy? And is that a bag a salt? What are you, a deer? Who are you to make such unhealthy nutrition choices? Why, you probably give your kids milk!
    DAVE: “Well, yes.”
    TSC: “How dare you, sir! You disgust me! I’m leaving.”
    DAVE: “I’m sorry. I’ll walk you back to the market.”
    TSC: “Don’t bother. I’ll call for a cab. Or a bigger cart.”

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Now why am I picturing you pushing that cart towards a blast furnace while the cart is saying, “What do you think you’re doing, Dave?”

  28. tony

    Can you imagine the cacophony at the market with all those talking carts? I wouldn’t be surprised some shoppers would go postal.

    And the way people bang shopping carts in the grocery’s parking lot would force the store to hire full time repair technicians.

  29. PJ (RightNOW)

    This is obscure: I once read an article on how humans are actually naturally, subconsciously, far less likely to be drawn to any food that is blue or purple because, in nature, aside from blueberries and eggplant, almost nothing is and some things that are, are poisonous.

    I’m sure that is completely unrelated.

    Eventually grocery stores will only hire people who have a certificate in a paid training course for Official MyPlate Knowledge you realize. So they can proselytize to customers.

    Sometimes I feel like we are in this giant complex version of Robert DeNiro’s experience in the movie BRAZIL.

    1. Elenor

      “hire people who have a certificate in a paid training course for Official MyPlate Knowledge”

      They don’t need to hire them, they can just switch over the Obamacare “guides” — oh, what I am writing; of COURSE they’ll want to hire additional new ones…. Nevermind.

  30. PJ (RightNOW)

    I just realized that while it is missing theology, we have now actually moved to a “cult” approach. The entire environment is structured and planned, there is doctrine and indoctrination, there are people as “monitors” who will helpfully tell you if you stray across a behavioral line, there is even corrective electronic surveillance aka “helpful grocery baskets” to guide your behavior.

  31. Trevor

    Even if the USDA weren’t operating on nutritional BS, this report is so outlandishly stupid and condescending, it could almost be the plot of a satirical comedy about a dystopian nanny state.

  32. Jan's Sushi Bar

    I keep having visions of being banned from our local grocery store because we rarely purchase food there – when you have 13 raised beds, all busy growing vegetables, berries and melons in your back yard, belong to a CSA and purchase all of your meat, eggs and dairy directly from local farmers, the grocery store almost becomes obsolete. You tend to only purchase laundry detergent, toilet paper and dry roasted cashews; our carts would short circuit.

  33. Jill

    In Australia, a billionaire wants people on welfare to receive healthy cards with little to no discretionary spending allowed so they only buy healhty stuff, no cigarettes, drugs, alcohol or gambling.
    This plan was originally designed and worked for specific Aboriginal townships with enormous problems and the women supported this.

    I wondered how long it would take for someone to want to apply it nationwide.
    I’m not a fan of cigs, alcohol etc but I do object to full on control of welfare recipients.

    Designated shops tend to be very expensive, you can’t save for a course should you be so inclined and the freedom thing is curtailed.
    It’s designed of course to get you off welfare ASAP but few people enjoy being on welfare anyway.
    For older people, there a re few jobs, for the entrepreneurial ones you still need savings.
    To me this is thin-end-of-the-wedge Agenda 21 readiness stuff, more control.

    1. SB

      So show up, swipe your card when purchasing produce, and then don’t swipe when buying regular stuff. You are not kidding though, glad my employer doesn’t care what I eat.

  34. Jeff

    I didn’t read all the replies here, but I did read your blog entirely. It smacks of the EXACT article Time magazine ran a while back, of which I now regret not swiping from my doctor’s office.

    While in the waiting room I noticed an issue of Time magazine that had its featured cover article on the spiraling epidemic of heart disease and diabetes in the United States. I read the entire article rather quickly (not knowing when I was going to be called back for my appointment) and it dove into varied synopsis from all kinds of notables such as the American Heart Association, etc. and in the end of it all, a definitive conclusion was reached. It literally suggested that Americans were just to stupid (or lazy) to implement ALL of the USDA and AHA”s reccomendations and guidelines and hence that is the reason why weight and diabetes continues to climb.

    Hmm…”Oh wait! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!” which of course we know to be that their plan is flawed from its food pyramid base on up and why shouldn’t be? It’s all based on phony “facts” anyways, and ironically The Annointed continue to run on their hamster wheel with Ancel’s papers firmly intact in their back pockets all the while to this day complaining as to how stupid The Non-Annointed truly are.

    How ironic.

    1. Tom Naughton Post author

      Was that the TIME magazine cover story titled “Eat Butter”? I meant to grab that one and forgot.

  35. Jeff

    Actually, no. It was way before that article ran. It was about a year before Time ran that article on eat butter.

    Tom, since you didn’t catch the now infamous Time butter issue, just drop me a PM and I’ll send it to you for your perusal. Not a problem!


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