Scary Letter From A Halloween Busybody

      104 Comments on Scary Letter From A Halloween Busybody

Happy Halloween. Chareva and the girls are in Mexico, where the girls will be experiencing their first Day of the Dead celebration. They’ve been looking forward to that for weeks. I plan to celebrate Halloween by getting some work done and then watching Thursday Night Football. I don’t expect any trick-or-treaters to show up here. We’re too remote and the place is kind of scary-looking at night.

Speaking of scary, some kids who go trick-or-treating in North Dakota may be coming home with a nasty note from a local busybody. I saw this on the news last night, and today a reader sent me an article from the New York Daily News:

A North Dakota woman is taking it upon herself to school the parents of trick-or-treaters by denying Halloween candy to kids she feels are too chubby.

Instead, she says, she’ll give them a note informing parents their “obese” child should lay off the sugar.

So she isn’t refusing to hand out Halloween candy to all kids … just those she feels are “too chubby.” Thaaaaaaaaaat’s going to make for some interesting exchanges on the front porch.

Ding-dong!

“Trick or treat!”

“Uh … so what are you supposed to be, young man?”

“The Incredible Hulk!”

“Yes, but, uh … I can’t really tell how fat you are under that bulky costume. Would you mind taking it off so I can see if you’re chubby?”

As public schools in some states debate sending home “fat letters” to kids with high body mass indexes, “Cheryl,” of Fargo, N.D., sees nothing wrong with taking the controversial practice into her own hands.

Of course you don’t see anything wrong with your behavior, Cheryl. That’s the problem with idiots: their idiocy prevents them from recognizing when they’re being idiots. Let’s take a look at the letter Cheryl will handing out to kids she deems too fat:

Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor!

You are probably wondering why your child has this note; have you ever heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”? I am disappointed in “the village” of Fargo Moorehead, West Fargo.

When people say “It takes a village to raise a child,” what they mean is that they think they have the right (if not the obligation!) to tell you how to raise your kid — because they know better than you, of course.  In other words, it’s a favorite phrase among busybodies who don’t know how to mind their own @#$%ing business.

Your child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.

Kids don’t get fat from eating Halloween candy once per year, you mental midget. My (thin and active) girls eat Halloween candy. But they don’t eat candy most of the year. Shaming and embarrassing the kids you deem too fat won’t make a bit of difference in how much they ultimately weigh. You may, however, send a few of them home in tears – which will give them a reason to tear into the candy and other comfort foods.

My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.

Thank You.

Way to lecture the parents, Cheryl. Good move. Because it’s not as if they know their kids are fat. But after being enlightened by you, I’m sure they’ll step up, put those kids on a diet, and thank you later for pushing them onto the correct path.

If you’re concerned about fat kids eating candy, Cheryl, then the proper course of action is to refuse to give out candy, period.  Do like some other folks who think candy is bad and give out little trinkets instead.  That way you’re not putting yourself in the position of deciding which kids are too fat and which ones aren’t.

And seriously, what if a fat kid and skinny kid show up together?  Are you going to give one kid candy and the other kid your “helpful” letter?  Do you have any idea how much grief you could cause a kid who gets that letter in front of his peers?

If you sent that letter home with one of my kids, I’d tell them, “Well, it’s called ‘trick or treat’ for a reason, and I don’t consider this letter much of a treat. Time for the tricks. You have my permission to go egg her house.  In fact, I’ll go with you.”

That “village” may disappoint you, Cheryl … but only because you’re the village idiot.

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104 thoughts on “Scary Letter From A Halloween Busybody

  1. Alex

    I understand where the lady is coming from, but instead of being a judgy bitch about it, she should just not participate at all in Halloween. Back when we lived in town, we wanted no part of handing out health-destroying garbage to kids, so we’d shut off the lights, and our house would be ignored as if no one was home… no drama, no hurt feelings.

    My point exactly. If you’re opposed to giving kids candy, don’t. No problem with that. But singling out fat kids and handing them an insulting letter is way out of bounds.

    Reply
  2. Rae

    Wow, way to ruin some kids’ Halloween, lady. Egging her house would be a waste of precious eggs… rolling her house would be better!

    I believe in splurging on holidays, birthdays, vacations, and other special occasions – and I’ve been able to maintain my weight within a small steady range for awhile now. Like you say, it’s not the once in awhile treats that get you.

    Yup. When I was in grade school and a fat kid was a rare sight, it was just assumed that Halloween was the one occasion where kids could go crazy on the candy. My girls are allowed to go crazy on the candy on Halloween night, plus the next two days. Then all the candy goes away.

    Reply
  3. Babs

    Seriously this lady gives Fargo a bad rap. My husbands family lives around there and they are your best stock of people who put up with no BS. Couple years ago The Eagles band charged exorbitant prices for a concert and then put on a short and sh!$$y concert. The Eagles screwed over the wrong bunch of people, cuz those Fargonians boo-ed them and even shook their tour bus they were so PO’d.

    Reply
  4. Rae Ford

    I saw this story earlier and shared it with my sister. We then promptly discussed the chances of that woman’s house getting egged, rolled, or both. And then we discussed what percentage of those vandalizing her house would be parents. After all “it takes a village” to let someone know they’re being a nimrod.

    But seriously. When will people learn that shaming and singling out overweight people does not help? It merely ostracizes them and leaves them to turn to what they know gives them comfort.

    After all “it takes a village” to let someone know they’re being a nimrod … still laughing.

    Reply
  5. TonyNZ

    If you want to participate but not hand out sugary crap, just give pork scratchings or jerky or something.

    Also, instead of good utilisable resource, why not pelt her house with tofurkey?

    “Let’s tofu her house!” I like that.

    Reply
  6. Pierson

    Egg her house? Tom, isn’t that vandalizing her property? Really, busybody or not, she has a right to give her opinion, and she’s not forcing anyone to live their lives differently, or go to her house. As such, isn’t it a bit disproportionate to damage her property?

    Yes, it would be disproportionate to vandalize her property. It was fun saying it, though. The proportionate response would be to ring her doorbell and hand her a note explaining what a complete @$$hole she is — and pointing out any flaws in her appearance.

    Reply
  7. mlantenac

    “It takes a village to raise a child”? It takes a village. Anyone ever see the old Patrick McGoohan show from the late 60’s “The Prisoner”? It takes a village; oh, I’m sure it does. Be seeing you….

    “Of course you don’t see anything wrong with your behavior, Cheryl. That’s the problem with idiots: their idiocy prevents them from recognizing when they’re being idiots.”

    As the saying goes, “a fish is the last to know water”. A very useful saying BTW; applicable to so many people…..

    Reply
  8. Alex

    I understand where the lady is coming from, but instead of being a judgy bitch about it, she should just not participate at all in Halloween. Back when we lived in town, we wanted no part of handing out health-destroying garbage to kids, so we’d shut off the lights, and our house would be ignored as if no one was home… no drama, no hurt feelings.

    My point exactly. If you’re opposed to giving kids candy, don’t. No problem with that. But singling out fat kids and handing them an insulting letter is way out of bounds.

    Reply
  9. JD

    What I don’t get is how does some dumbass like this from Hickville, ND make the front page of Google News?

    Outrageous behavior is newsworthy.

    Reply
  10. Babs

    Seriously this lady gives Fargo a bad rap. My husbands family lives around there and they are your best stock of people who put up with no BS. Couple years ago The Eagles band charged exorbitant prices for a concert and then put on a short and sh!$$y concert. The Eagles screwed over the wrong bunch of people, cuz those Fargonians boo-ed them and even shook their tour bus they were so PO’d.

    Reply
  11. Rae Ford

    I saw this story earlier and shared it with my sister. We then promptly discussed the chances of that woman’s house getting egged, rolled, or both. And then we discussed what percentage of those vandalizing her house would be parents. After all “it takes a village” to let someone know they’re being a nimrod.

    But seriously. When will people learn that shaming and singling out overweight people does not help? It merely ostracizes them and leaves them to turn to what they know gives them comfort.

    After all “it takes a village” to let someone know they’re being a nimrod … still laughing.

    Reply
  12. TonyNZ

    If you want to participate but not hand out sugary crap, just give pork scratchings or jerky or something.

    Also, instead of good utilisable resource, why not pelt her house with tofurkey?

    “Let’s tofu her house!” I like that.

    Reply
  13. The Older Brother

    No! No! No!

    Don’t waste the eggs or do serious vandalism.

    Remember the old one about putting a few dog turds in a paper lunch bag on the porch, then lighting it, ringing the doorbell, and running like hell? That’s perfect.

    Not that I ever did anything like that. I just, y’know, heard about it.

    Cheers

    Reply
  14. Pierson

    Egg her house? Tom, isn’t that vandalizing her property? Really, busybody or not, she has a right to give her opinion, and she’s not forcing anyone to live their lives differently, or go to her house. As such, isn’t it a bit disproportionate to damage her property?

    Yes, it would be disproportionate to vandalize her property. It was fun saying it, though. The proportionate response would be to ring her doorbell and hand her a note explaining what a complete @$$hole she is — and pointing out any flaws in her appearance.

    Reply
  15. JD

    What I don’t get is how does some dumbass like this from Hickville, ND make the front page of Google News?

    Outrageous behavior is newsworthy.

    Reply
  16. The Older Brother

    No! No! No!

    Don’t waste the eggs or do serious vandalism.

    Remember the old one about putting a few dog turds in a paper lunch bag on the porch, then lighting it, ringing the doorbell, and running like hell? That’s perfect.

    Not that I ever did anything like that. I just, y’know, heard about it.

    Cheers

    Reply
  17. Jean Bush

    I’ll bet she also walks around “tsk tsking” women if their tops expose “too much” cleavage or their skirts are too short.

    Stupid idiots like her will never stop at just monitoring weight.

    Reply
  18. Jean Bush

    I’ll bet she also walks around “tsk tsking” women if their tops expose “too much” cleavage or their skirts are too short.

    Stupid idiots like her will never stop at just monitoring weight.

    Reply
  19. Namu

    Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

    After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
    “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”

    Little BILLY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”

    “Oh?” replied the man. ” Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”

    “No” replied Little Billy, “he minded his own fucking business!!”

    Love it!

    Reply
  20. Namu

    Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

    After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
    “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”

    Little BILLY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”

    “Oh?” replied the man. ” Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”

    “No” replied Little Billy, “he minded his own fucking business!!”

    Love it!

    Reply
  21. Don in Arkansas

    It would be interesting to see a picture of this lady and verify that she is below 25 on the BMI scale.

    Reply
  22. Craig R

    Even if the story is a hoax, the ideas behind it are not. Fat letters are handed out at schools all the time, which not only wastes resources better spent elsewhere but gives society the idea that they should shame those who are fat. Since it hurts society as a whole, obviously everybody should make it their business. So whether this particular instance is true or false, the ideas are out there and Tom’s rebuttal is very relevant.

    Reply
  23. Ulfric Douglas

    My boy’s been stuffing his face on sweets for the last day and a half,
    I wouldn’t have it any other way!
    Four times a year : Birthday, Hallowe’en, Easter for the choccy eggs, and a giant tin of Quality Street at Christmas.

    Four times per year for a kid is a pretty good ratio.

    Reply
  24. Craig R

    Even if the story is a hoax, the ideas behind it are not. Fat letters are handed out at schools all the time, which not only wastes resources better spent elsewhere but gives society the idea that they should shame those who are fat. Since it hurts society as a whole, obviously everybody should make it their business. So whether this particular instance is true or false, the ideas are out there and Tom’s rebuttal is very relevant.

    Reply
  25. Ulfric Douglas

    My boy’s been stuffing his face on sweets for the last day and a half,
    I wouldn’t have it any other way!
    Four times a year : Birthday, Hallowe’en, Easter for the choccy eggs, and a giant tin of Quality Street at Christmas.

    Four times per year for a kid is a pretty good ratio.

    Reply
  26. Dan

    This reminds me of a quote I saw on Facebook: “When you’re dead it doesn’t affect you, you’re dead. It’s only painful for the people around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid”

    Love it.

    Reply
  27. Dan

    This reminds me of a quote I saw on Facebook: “When you’re dead it doesn’t affect you, you’re dead. It’s only painful for the people around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid”

    Love it.

    Reply
  28. D00v

    Wtf are you supposed to say to that letter? “Yeah we know little Johnny is too fat, he easts to much. WE know because we have to buy him new pants every four months.” Jeez.

    Reply
  29. D00v

    Wtf are you supposed to say to that letter? “Yeah we know little Johnny is too fat, he easts to much. WE know because we have to buy him new pants every four months.” Jeez.

    Reply
  30. TD Riggs

    Wow. I just finished reading your article and the New York daily News piece. I also, watched a video about the issue and other related information. I too, believe the lady is wrong. She had a misplaced, good hearted, idea. But she is wrong about how she thinks she can change peoples thinking. Changing peoples thoughts about food is something you’re trying to do, isn’t it Tom?

    But what I find even more disturbing, is the response from many of the people making comments. Even you Tom, the Author of this “Funny” piece of reporting.

    I will never really understand why people resort to calling her “a Witch”, “a Hag”, “a Bitch”, and even words that can only be spelled with letters such as “F*#!!#”. Some comments even “Joked” about, “Egging her house”. “Tracking her down and making her pay for what she’s doing”…Wow…We make comments and really do not understand the power of our own words. I wonder why there is such a problem with “Bullying” ?

    Now, I know I should “lighten up”, after all it’s only written out of humor. But Humor and peoples thoughts run together on a very fine line. A line many people can’t see.

    I do agree that her intentions about how to go about her beliefs are very much misplaced. But do we need to fall down onto our own knuckles and grunt like wild rioting animals.

    She did not Kill anyone. She did not put a gun to anyone’s head and threaten to blow their brains out. She did not go to a school with a gun and…Bullying, We all do it and never know that we do.

    All that she really did do, was think she could make a difference. She is not the government telling you what you should being doing. She is another American, misplaced with her idea. Another Human Being, like the rest of us, just trying to make her way in this confusing world.

    I could continue…but I hope I have made my point.

    Reply
    1. TD Riggs

      I love what you are trying to do about our nations misconception of what healthy food is. You show people what seems to be the truth…I will follow you. Please try not to stir up to much anger with your posts. I know you have no control over peoples thoughts..

      Reply
  31. TD Riggs

    Wow. I just finished reading your article and the New York daily News piece. I also, watched a video about the issue and other related information. I too, believe the lady is wrong. She had a misplaced, good hearted, idea. But she is wrong about how she thinks she can change peoples thinking. Changing peoples thoughts about food is something you’re trying to do, isn’t it Tom?

    But what I find even more disturbing, is the response from many of the people making comments. Even you Tom, the Author of this “Funny” piece of reporting.

    I will never really understand why people resort to calling her “a Witch”, “a Hag”, “a Bitch”, and even words that can only be spelled with letters such as “F*#!!#”. Some comments even “Joked” about, “Egging her house”. “Tracking her down and making her pay for what she’s doing”…Wow…We make comments and really do not understand the power of our own words. I wonder why there is such a problem with “Bullying” ?

    Now, I know I should “lighten up”, after all it’s only written out of humor. But Humor and peoples thoughts run together on a very fine line. A line many people can’t see.

    I do agree that her intentions about how to go about her beliefs are very much misplaced. But do we need to fall down onto our own knuckles and grunt like wild rioting animals.

    She did not Kill anyone. She did not put a gun to anyone’s head and threaten to blow their brains out. She did not go to a school with a gun and…Bullying, We all do it and never know that we do.

    All that she really did do, was think she could make a difference. She is not the government telling you what you should being doing. She is another American, misplaced with her idea. Another Human Being, like the rest of us, just trying to make her way in this confusing world.

    I could continue…but I hope I have made my point.

    Reply
    1. TD Riggs

      I love what you are trying to do about our nations misconception of what healthy food is. You show people what seems to be the truth…I will follow you. Please try not to stir up to much anger with your posts. I know you have no control over peoples thoughts..

      Reply
  32. Live Free Or Diet

    If she did that to one of my kids I’d have a new hobby sending her weekly postcards. “Please wear a full burqa. For the village.”

    Reply

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